Page 4 of My Ex for Christmas
“Mom’s good,” he says. “Andrea and Isabella are both at school down in Vancouver. Marcy’s in her last year of high school, and Ronnie’s just starting.”
My eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Ronnie’s inhigh school?” I shake my head. “She was just heading to grade one…”
She was—eight years ago. The chasm between us grows. Hearing about these people I used to be so close to—these girls I considered sisters of my own—feels so strange. Strange because I don’t know them, and they don’t know me, and it’s my own fault.
It wasn’t just Brooks I left behind when I made the choice to move to Brazil.
I feel like I could reach out and take a bite of the awkwardness that slides between us, it’s so palpable. I watch Brooks swallow. Stuff down words that have had almost a decade to fester.
Coming here was a mistake. I grab my scarf from the neighbouring stool and drape it around my neck. Next, I shrug on mycoat and shove my toque over my head. Brooks is silent, watching me.
Watching me do what I do best—run.
“Well, anyways…” I slide off my stool. “I should go. Big day tomorrow. It was good seeing you.”
And hopefully I’ll never have to again.
Even as I think it, a pang of sadness hits me. Because leaving him the first time was hard, but at least there was a whole continent between us. Now he’ll only be a mountainside away, and here I am, hellbent on staying away from him.
I snap a quick picture of my near empty glass to send to Sam as proof. I pretend not to notice Brooks’s gaze on me.
When I eventually have to look up, I struggle to meet his eyes. Long-buried shame coats my insides, familiar and raw. I’m not brave enough to confront it, though, so I stuff it down, down, down.
“You sure you don’t want another drink?” he asks.
You sure you don't want to stay?
I shake my head. “No, thank you. One was more than enough for me.”
No, thank you. I'm too much of a chicken for that.
I quickly pull out a couple bills from my wallet and slide them across the bar toward Brooks.
“I’m really glad I ran into you, Hads,” he says, and the words, combined with the way he’s looking at me, make something twist low in my stomach. “What are the chances we’d both end up in the same town again?”
“I mean, Canada’s population isn’tthatbig, so statistically…” I shake my head. I just know my cheeks are flaming red enough to rival the colour of my hair. “Have a good night, Brooks.”
He tips his chin, grinning at me. I forgot he has a dimple in his right cheek, but damn if it doesn’t make him look even more handsome.
“Night, Hadley. Drive safe.”
I practically run out of Dirty Dick’s, and when I hit that icypavement covered in a layer of snow, I barely catch myself on my car door before I land on my ass. I should probably think about ordering a better pair of boots, seeing as I’ll be here for at least another month.
Once I’m in the safety of the car, I turn on the ignition and cross my fingers it heats quickly. Then I pull out my phone and text Sam the picture of my drink.
Here. Now I'm never going out again.
Sister Sam
Proud of you! But wait, why?
I cover my face with my hands. I dread telling my sister about Brooks, but she’s the only one I can talk to about this. Sure, I have a few friends I made back in Brazil, but none of them know Brooks like Sam does.
None of them would be able to understand the sheer magnitude of the embarrassment I feel right now.
Brooks works at the bar I went to.
Sister Sam
