Page 110 of This Kind of Forever
Not for long. Not once you know what I’ve done.
I toe off my boots, then follow Kevin into the kitchen. Caitlyn and Bryan are sitting at the island, squabbling over something. A smile tugs at my mouth—they remind me so much of the Bowmans.
When my gaze lands on Dana, my smile slowly falls. I swallow the lump in my throat. “Hi,” I say.
“Hello,” she says coolly.
“Hey, Hallie,” Bryan says with a smile. “Good to see you.”
Caitlyn hops off her stool and digs through her bag. “I got you something from Fiji,” she says. She and Amara just got back from their honeymoon there. “It’s nothing fancy, but it made me think of you.”
She holds a bracelet out to me. It’s made from different shades of purple beads, threaded into a repeating pattern. It’s beautiful.
And that does it. I break under the pressure of all the lies I’ve told, and the truth begins to force its way out.
“Thank you, but I…” I blink to hold back tears as I set the bracelet on the counter. “I can’t.”
Caitlyn’s expression falls. “You don’t like it.”
My gut churns. “No! I love it, I swear. But I don’t deserve it.”
Kevin and Dana have stopped their conversation now. Four pairs of eyes settle on me.
“What are you talking about?” Bryan asks. “It’s just a bracelet.”
But it’snotjust a bracelet. Not really. Caitlyn went on her honeymoon, and she thought ofme. The half sister she just met. My siblings have welcomed me with open arms, and all I’ve done is lie.
I take a deep breath. “I want to start by saying that I’m truly sorry. My intention was never to hurt anyone, but that doesn’t excuse anything. I’ve been lying to you all, and I can’t do it anymore.” I offer Kevin a sad smile. “Gabe and I…we aren’t really engaged. His daughter got confused when I moved into their house because I needed a place to stay, and she accidentally started the rumour. That day I met you at Dockside? That was the first I had heard of it.”
“I…don’t understand,” Kevin says. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Why? Because I’m a coward. That’s what all of this comes down to, at the end of the day.
“When you heard I was engaged, you looked so happy. And I felt, at the time, that I didn’t have much to show for myself. I wanted you to like me. To…want me. So I figured it wouldn’t hurt to pretend a little. Only, now it’s become a whole mess and I never meant for things to get this far, and I’m sorry.”
“So you and Gabearen’ttogether?” Caitlyn clarifies.
I debate how to answer this. “We are now. It’s…complicated. He and I have been orbiting each other for years, and we finally gave in. But engaged? No.”
My fingers twist together in front of me as I wait with bated breath for someone to say something. I’ve shocked them, but I know the anger is coming. I brace for the impact.
Finally, Dana scoffs. “We should have known better. You know what her mother is like.”
“Mom,” Bryan chastises.
“Well, it’s true, Bryan. She seduced your father, and now look what’s happening.”
I’m not sure why, but it’s this comment, above all the others, that breaks my resolve. Foryears, I’ve held my tongue when people have made snide comments about Amanda. About me. But I’m done feeling small.
“Forgive him or don’t. That’s your business,” I say to Dana. All four of them look a little stunned at the force of my words. “But I will not be made to feel less than for choices I had no hand in making. What I did was wrong, I won’t deny that, but I’ve been treated no better by you.”
Dana rears back like I’ve slapped her.
“I can appreciate that this situation is hard for you. It’s hard for me, too. But I didn’t ask for any of this. So if you can’t accept me based on some moral failing you think I have, simplybased on who birthed me, then that’s fine. I won’t bother you anymore.”
My monologue has rendered everyone speechless. I wait a beat, to see if Kevin or my half siblings are going to say anything. When they don’t, I turn on my heel and slip out of the house.
No one stops me.
