Page 113 of This Kind of Forever
My heart splinters. “Stopwhat?”
She crosses her arms over her chest defensively. “Stop kidding ourselves. Stop. Just…stop.”
“Are you trying to break up with me right now?”
She opens her mouth, but the words seem to get caught. So she nods instead, then ducks to hide her face.
“No.”
Her head snaps up, her gaze meeting mine. “No?”
“No.” I take a step closer, eating up that distance she tried to create. “I’m not letting you run away this time. Because you’re right where you belong. You were made for me, Hallie, and I was made for you. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”
The fear in her eyes damn near kills me. Even after all this time, she’s afraid of me. Of us.
“How do you know?” She shakes her head. “Because I’ve been trying to fight the voice inside my head that keeps telling me this is too good to be true. That you’re too good to be true.”
I cup her jaw and tip her chin up, forcing her eyes back to me. “Let me be a good thing.”
Another tear slips down her cheek. “I don’t want you to be a good thing because all the good things go away eventually.”
I shake my head. “Not me. Not this.”
“Gabe,please. I can’t.”
My jaw clenches as the hurt settles in. “Do you still not trust me?”
“It’s not you I don’t trust!” she cries, pulling away from me again. “Don’t you get it? It’sme.” She jabs a finger against her chest. “I don’t trust myself because I’ve spent my whole lifeterrifiedof turning into her. Of hurting the people I love.”
“That will never be you, baby.Never. You want to know why?” More tears trail down Hallie’s cheeks, and the sight kills me inside. I wipe them away with my thumbs. “Because the fact that you’re scared right now proves to me that you care. Your mom isn’t concerned with any of that. She couldn’t care less about the damage she does to her daughter. You aren’t her, Foster, and youneverwill be.”
I tuck her against my chest, holding her as she sobs. I wish that I had known the extent of her issues with her mom back when we were in high school. When we were kids. Hallie has spent so long dealing with all this on her own, and none of it is fair.
Eventually, her crying lessens. “I’m sorry,” she croaks.
I swallow thickly. “If you really don’t want to be with me—if you got caught up in the fake engagement—then I’ll understand. But if you’re doing this to try and spare me some kind of pain you think you’ll inflict on me, then I don’t accept.”
She chokes on a laugh. “Just like that?”
“Just like that. I’m prepared to keep you, Hallie Foster, for however long you’ll let me.”
“And if I said you could have me forever?”
My forehead drops to hers. “I’d tell you that’s nowhere near long enough, but I’ll take it.”
Hallie closes her eyes for a moment, but when she opens them again, there’s clarity there. “I want to fight with you. Will you fight with me, baby? Because I love you, Gabriel Bowman.I love you, and I want this kind of forever.”
Hearing those words pass her lips is the sweetest fucking sound I’ve ever heard. I dip my head, crushing my mouth to hers. Her lips are salty with her tears.
When we draw apart, my breathing feels ragged. “I’ll fight with you. Until they put me in the ground. Because there is nothing in this world that could stop me from loving you.”
A relieved cry passes her lips, and then I’m on her again.
Hallie unzips her coat and lets it slip from her shoulders. The heater has filled the guesthouse with a haze of warm air, but goosebumps still rise on her arms. I tug the hoodie over my head, tossing it to the floor.
Hand on her waist, I guide her back toward the bed. She lands on the mattress, then pulls me down after her. Our clothes come off, one piece after the other.
I love you, I love you, I love you—a chorus of whispers against lips, against skin.
