Page 17 of This Kind of Forever
“You don’t have to tiptoe. This is your kitchen, too.”
At least until the one out in the guesthouse is usable. Then Hallie won’t have a reason to come inside multiple times a day. She’s probably counting down the minutes, but I’m dreading it.
The past couple weeks since she officially moved into the guesthouse have been nice. More than nice. The awkwardness has been slowly slipping away, and it’s starting to feel like it used to between us. Like nothing ever happened.
Hallie’s cheeks flush. She turns away and drops her dirty dishes into the sink. She also refuses to use the damn dishwasher. “I just don’t want to bother you,” she says.
You can bother me. Every day, forever.
“You’re not. I want you to feel comfortable here. Make yourself at home.”
She nods, but I know she’s only doing so to placate me. As soon as I turn around, she’ll go back to only partially existing, folding herself in half so she takes up a fraction of the space.
But I want her to take up space. I want her here, in my home. I wanther, plain and simple. The years and the distance did nothing to make me forget that.
Against my better judgment, I move closer. Being in Hallie’s proximity is dangerous on a good day, but especially when she’s wearing whatever perfume she’s got on today. It invades my nose, mixing with the sweet scent of her shampoo.
The tap is on now, filling the sink with a little water. I wait until Hallie shuts it off to speak. “I mean it. You’re not a bother. Alright?”
She offers me a small smile as she scrubs at a plate. “Alright.”
“I’m ready!” Abbie calls. I hear her shoes hit the landing, and then she’s skipping into the kitchen. She grabs my hand and starts to tug. “Daddy, come on! We gotta go.”
Hallie looks over her shoulder, biting her lip to stifle her laughter. “Where are you off to?” she asks Abbie.
“The fair!”
Hallie smiles. “I hope you have fun.” She gestures to me with her thumb. “Make your dad buy youlotsof cotton candy.”
My daughter’s face turns serious. “I love the pink kind, but blue is really good, too.” Then her head cocks to the side as she continues to study Hallie. “Do you wanna come with us?”
Hallie pauses. Some suds from the dishwater drip off her hands and onto the tile floor. “To the fair?”
Abbie nods. “Yeah! Mommy always goes on the rides with me because Daddy gets pukey, but she’s gotta work. So you can come, and we can have so much fun!”
“Hey,” I interject, tugging on her braid. “I do not get pukey.”
Abbie looks up at me and arches her brow, looking a little too much like Larissa in this moment. “You do, too!”
Hallie giggles. “You really want me to go on rides with you? Are you sure?”
Abbie smiles as her head bobs enthusiastically. “Yes! Please, please,please?”
Hallie dries her hands on a towel as she thinks over her answer. I know her, though. She wouldn’t be able to say no to Abbie even if she wanted to.
“Okay,” she agrees, “as long as your dad is alright with it. I don’t want to crash your day together.”
Abbie turns to me, eyes pleading. “It’s okay, right, Daddy?”
“Of course.” I look up at Hallie. “You’re always welcome, Foster.”
She meets my gaze, holding it. Years of meaning seem to travel between us. Then she grins at Abbie. “Lead the way.”
The Thanksgiving weekend fair is a tradition in our family that started when my siblings and I were little. The fair runs from Friday night into Monday afternoon, and Mom and Dad would take us every year. Since Abbie was old enough to start going on rides, I made it a point to bring her, too.
Sometimes, the weather isn’t all that great and some events get rained out, but this weekend is mild and the sky is a clear blue. Still, there’s a bite to the air that signals fall is upon us.
Abbie bounces excitedly on the balls of her feet as we wait in line at the entrance. Once I’ve paid the fifteen bucks for our admission—much to Hallie’s disagreement—we get wristbands strapped to our wrists and sent on our way.
