Page 34 of This Kind of Forever
“Why?” I ask, voice cracking on the word.
I don’t elaborate, but he understands. “My wife, Dana, and I weren’t in a good place. I’d like to say I simply wasn’t thinking when I decided to start up a relationship with Amanda, but that isn’t the truth. I was looking for a way to express my discontent. I knew what I was doing. Things between me and Amanda didn’t last long. I broke it off, came clean to Dana. Then Amanda told me she was pregnant.”
Guilt comes, fast and hot, because I know what happens next.
“To put it frankly, I was a coward. Dana was willing to work things out, but only if we left. If I agreed to put everything behind us. Selfishly, I didn’t want my world to change, so we moved. And I tried to forget about you.”
Hearing that stings.I tried to forget about you. Because at the end of the day, I’m inconsequential enough to be forgotten. By him, by my mother.
“When I was sick, I told your siblings about you,” he continues. “Caitlyn and Bryan. They were both, understandably, angry at me. They still are. But eventually, we came to the conclusion that I needed to reach out. So I wrote you a letter.”
My breath leaves my lungs in a whoosh.Siblings. The closest I’ve had to that is watching the Bowmans as we grew up. Deep down, I longed for an older brother like Luke, a sister like Clara.
“This is…a lot to take in,” I say.
Kevin’s expression softens. “I know. I’m sorry. We can leave it there for today, if you’d like.”
I hardly have time to mull over his words before a riot of colour and chaos descends on us. “Hallie!” Carole exclaims as she steps up to the table. “I hear congratulations are in order.”
My brows furrow as I look up at her. “Congratulations?”
I glance over at Kevin, as if he might have some insight, but he’s only looking at her curiously. Of course he wouldn’t know—he hasn’t lived on the island in close to thirty years.
“Yes!” Carole shoves my shoulder good-naturedly. “You thought you could go and get engaged to one of those darling Bowman boys without me finding out?”
I choke on air. “What?” My gaze slides to Kevin. “I, uh?—”
“You’re engaged?” he asks. His eyes are shining with what I can only describe as joy.
No!I want to shout. But the word gets lodged in my throat.
Carole nods, utterly oblivious to my internal freak-out. “Miss Abigail let the news slip to her teacher yesterday, and you know Melinda and I are yoga buddies. She mentioned it during our sunrise session this morning. Gosh, I’msoglad I ran into you! I bet Maggie is simply over the moon.”
Words. I need words. Any of them, really.
“Who is Abigail?” Kevin asks.
Bad. This is bad.
“Gabriel’s daughter,” Carole replies.
“And who is Gabriel?”
She flings a hand in my direction. “Hallie’s new fiancé.”
This issobad.
Carole looks down at her wrist, where a multicoloured watch rests. “Oh, would you look at the time. I’ve gotta run. Best wishes to you and Gabe, dear. I’ll see you at the gallery tomorrow afternoon!”
Carole sweeps out of the restaurant with a flourish, none the wiser to my struggles.
I turn to Clara at the bar. Based on the expression she wears, she heard everything Carole said. My stomach swims. That’s what she wanted to talk about. She wanted to warn me.
Kevin clears his throat, pulling my attention back to him. “I apologize if you didn’t want me to know about your engagement,” he says. At least someone can read the discomfort on my face, although it’s not for the reason he thinks. “But I… Well, I’m glad that I know. I’m serious about doing this right, Hallie. I’d love to get to know you. And your fiancé. If you’ll give me the chance.”
Do it now. Tell himthe truth.
Instead, I smile shakily. “I’d really like that.”
