Page 65 of This Kind of Forever
Eventually, she sets her empty plate beside mine on the coffee table.
“Gabe?”
I turn to her. “Yeah?”
The faint lamplight illuminates her face enough for me to see the indecision in her expression. “I’m sorry I ran from you.”
At first, I think she’s talking about the past two days. The way she pulled back after the wedding, the kiss. But as I search her face, I realize she’s talking aboutbefore.
I swallow. “Hallie, it’s fine. We don’t have to?—”
“We do.” She shifts in her seat, tucking her knees up to her chest. “I know you said it’s alright, but I’ve been thinking about it since my talk with Abbie the other day. It feels like it’s just…hanging there, and I know that’s my fault.”
I don’t know what to say, so I end up saying nothing. Not the first time she’s left me tongue-tied.
“To be completely honest, you scared me.” When I rear back, shocked, a little hurt, she hurries to elaborate. “Not in a physical way. Never like that, I promise. But emotionally. When things get real, I get intimidated, and what you said was…big.”
It was big. I can’t deny that. I hadn’t so much as admitted to liking her in more than a platonic way, and then I jumped straight to confessing I was in love with her. At the time, I saw no reason to downplay what was on my heart.
She meets my gaze. “I shouldn’t have run from you or ignored your texts. Above all else, you were my friend, andyou deserved better than that. So I’m sorry. And I’m sorry this apology is ten years late.”
I didn’t expect her words to hit me as hard as they do, but they slam into me all the same. I thought I didn’t need to hear this, but maybe I did. Because for a decade, I’ve been convinced I did something wrong. That I fucked everything up.
But there’s nothing wrong with loving Hallie. There never has been.
“I’ve thought a lot about that day over the years,” I say. “What I should have done differently. It’s kept me up some nights, on those days where your mind just won’t stop spinning.” Hallie grimaces, but I continue. “But to tell you the truth, I’m glad everything happened the way it did.”
Her eyes widen, then understanding dawns. “Because of Abbie.”
“Yes, but not only that.” I can practically hear the blood rushing in my veins, but I don’t stop. It’s something she should hear. “As much as I couldn’t help loving you, I think you needed to be loved by me. To show you it’s as effortless as breathing. And I don’t regret that for a goddamn second.”
Hallie’s lips part. My eyes are drawn to them immediately. What I wouldn’t give to close the distance between us and take her mouth. Take it all. Time and distance never did manage to dull the pull I feel when I’m in her proximity, and that’s only been amplified since our kiss.
I want more. I’ll always want more.
“Gabe,” Hallie croaks. “I…”
She doesn’t finish, but I can see what swims in the depths of her irises. Desire. Maybe I’m not the only one still thinking about the wedding. But mingled with that desire is a small dose of apprehension. She’s not ready. So I’ll wait.
I lean over, noting the way her breath hitches at my closeness, and press a kiss to her forehead. Then I stand and grab our plates, taking them to the kitchen.
“Do you want some ice cream?” I ask, coming back into the living room. “I think we have cookies and cream.”
“Ice cream?” she repeats.
My lips curve into an amused grin. “Yes. Do you want some?”
She stares at me another moment, trying to puzzle me out. Her nose scrunches in that cute, confused way. I pretend not to notice.
“Sure,” she finally says. “Thank you.”
When I settle back onto the couch with our ice cream in hand, Hallie lets her legs stretch out a bit, until her toes are pressed against my thigh. Again, I pretend not to notice.
She’s not ready, but she’ll get there. And when she does, I’ll be right there to prove to her that we’re worth it. She’s worth it.
TWENTY-FOUR
GABE
