Page 88 of This Kind of Forever
Until she decides she needs to run again.
THIRTY-ONE
GABE
As the weeks go by,Hallie and I settle into a routine. Being with her is everything I thought it would be and more. So much more. I’m a little surprised with how okay she’s been about us living together as more than roommates. I thought for sure she’d spook by now, worry we’re moving too fast.
But with each passing day, when nothing happens, I start to believe that she really will stay this time.
Except we still haven’t told anyone.
Hallie goes to see her grandfather at least twice a week. I keep waiting for her to say that she told him about us, but she never does. The only people who know we’re together are the Landells, and even they don’t know the full truth about us.
Glancing in the rearview mirror of my truck, I find Abbie engrossed in some game with her dolls. She insisted on bringing an armful to Haven House for brunch, even though she has a stockpile at my parents’ place. They range in size from Barbies to baby dolls, and whatever she’s cooking up in her imagination has her concentrating so hard, a line has formed between her brows.
I smile, returning my eyes to the road. Then I reach out and place a hand on Hallie’s thigh. She startles, and I chuckle.
“You alright?” I ask.
She’s nodding when I glance over. “Yeah. I just didn’t expect you to do that here.”
“She can’t see anything,” I say quietly. Even if she wasn’t distracted, the centre console blocks Abbie’s view of my hand. “But…we could just tell them. All of them.”
I know I said I’d give Hallie time, and I have, but I also can’t deny the way the secrecy is eating at me. Even lying to Kevin and his family about our engagement felt more genuine than this. At least then I wasn’t forbidden from touching her when we weren’t alone.
It doesn’t help that I feel like I’m keeping my own secrets from them. Ethan’s offer has been in the back of my mind for over a month. I spoke to him again the other day, asked some questions. The job is similar to my current one in some ways, but there’s still some things I’d need to do to make the cut. It’s tempting, but then I think about having to hand in my resignation to Luke.
It’s my life, sure, but I value my family’s opinions. They’re important to me. I don’t want to hide from them.
I almost miss it, but I swear Hallie flinches.
“Foster…”
She turns to look out her window, and my stomach sinks. I pull my hand from her thigh and return it to the steering wheel, tightening my grip. My jaw clenches.
The rest of the ride to Haven House is silent, save for Abbie’s chatter in the back seat. The awkwardness I thought Hallie and I left behind is back again, and I hate it with every fibre of my being.
What I don’t get is why Hallie is so against my family knowing about us. I understood her initial hesitation—agreeingto a relationship with me was already a big step, after denying ourselves for so long, without my family being involved. But I figured by now, she would have felt comfortable letting them know. That leaves me wondering if I’ve done something and she’s just too nervous to tell me.
When we get to the house, I help Abbie out of the back. Hallie slips from the passenger seat, but she hangs around, waiting for me. Her shoulders are curved inward, and her gaze is trained on her feet.
Abbie skips up the steps, then looks back at me. I haven’t moved from beside the truck. “Daddy?”
“Go on inside, Abbs,” I say. “We’ll be right behind you.”
When the front door shuts, I turn to face Hallie. She clutches the strap of her purse, like it will offer her the strength she needs to face this conversation.
“Fight with me, Foster,” I plead.Fightforme. For us.
She shakes her head. “I don’t want to fight. Not today.”
“You have reservations, I know. But you’re not letting me in,” I say, taking a step closer. “So I’m just left wondering what it is I’m doing wrong, with no way to fix it.”
Her blue eyes turn sad. “It’s not you, Gabe. It’s…”
I laugh without humour. “It’s not you, it’s me. Seriously?”
Hallie frowns. “Well, it’s the truth. You’re amazing, damn near perfect. You’ve done nothing wrong. It’s me who is messed up.”
