Page 7 of Swipe Right for Orcs
Leaning back in my chair, staring at my empty plate, trying to convince myself she’s just busy, and she’ll text back. But the doubt is hard to ignore. It’s been too long, and the idea of her ghosting me feels more real with every passing minute.
CHAPTER FIVE
FAIRLIE
I’m sitting at my desk in the back of the second-grade classroom staring at my phone while the kids are at lunch. I tap the screen, scrolling through the messages from Osric. He’s nice, don’t get me wrong, and while he’s definitely a monster, he’s not as monstrous as some. But is that enough for me? Can I go on a date with a nonhuman?
Well, I mean I can, obviously, but should I?
I can’t even put my finger on what’s making me hesitant. It’s not like I care what other people think and lord knows I’m single and deserve to be treated right. But is thatrightnesswith a monster? Am I ready to cross that line? What if I say something offensive by mistake? Or he goes to kiss me and I repulse him? What if he’s one of those creatures that have fated mates, and I’m just another notch in his belt while he’s searching for the one meant for him?
Times like these are when I wish I had parents to call and talk to. Unfortunately, they died three years ago in a boating accident, so it’s just me. I do have a best friend, though. Merrin.She’s been my rock—honest, blunt, and always ready to help me cut through the fog of my own insecurities.
I pull up her contact, hit call, and listen to it ring.
“‘Ello.”
“What are you up to?” I ask, my fingers nervously tapping the desk.
“Putting things in my cart after scrolling through TikTok.” She laughs.
“What are we testing now?”
“Have you seen the cucumber a day guy? I’m gonna try his California roll cucumber salad. What’s up? Aren’t you supposed to be teaching today?”
“The tiny humans are at lunch, then recess. I’m calling ‘cause I need your advice. Okay, maybe not advice. I need you to be honest with me.”
“Ooo, I’m excited. Did you finally dump that sack of shit?”
She’s never liked Alix. In fact, every time the three of us were together, the two of them would argue about the dumbest shit and threaten the other in ridiculous ways. Once, Alix threatened to cut her brakes, and she shot back about curb-stomping his grandma.
“I did. Found out he was cheating on me last night,” I confess. I’m surprised I didn’t tell her right away, but I was a wee bit drunk and Osric had my attention.
“No fucking way. I’ll kill him!”
I laugh cause well… she just might. “He never showed up last night to go to the party. He finally texted me and said he had to work late.”
“On Halloween? He does remember he works for Jesus lovers crafts. Right?”
“Well, then he sent me a text that was so not meant for me. It said something about the bitch or dull something I-D-K, but to have that tight little pussy ready for him.”
“Shut the hell up! What did you do?”
“I called him and he answered right away, being a dick saying he was working. I called him out on it and told him it was over. And he had the audacity to say, don’t be like this…he thinks the two of us could hit it off. Like I’m going to be in a three-way relationship with him and his sidepiece!”
Merrin bursts into laughter on the other end, and I glance around, making sure Mrs. Gilmore, the grumpy teacher whose desk I now share, isn’t eavesdropping. Her disdain for my presence as a student teacher is obvious, and I don’t need her judging me for swearing during my personal call.
“I’m sorry. I can’t with this. I’m dead. Deceased.”
“Well, get it together, because now I need you to be straight with me.”
She takes a deep breath, like she’s listening with bated breath and trying to hold herself together. “I fully support you being in a triad relationship, but not with the prick and his whore.”
“Ewww. No. After I ended things, I got a little drunk on box wine while watchingScream, and I downloaded a monster dating app. I wasn’t really planning anything with it but thought, why not give it a shot. I matched with an orc named Osric and he asked me to meet him for dinner and drinks tonight. I said yes, but now I’m slightly freaking out and…I should just not go, right?”
“Ummm, first of all, who are you and what did you do with my best friend? You downloaded a dating app?” she squeals and I roll my eyes.
“I did. But can we move past that?”
