Page 32 of Grief and Grievances
Elizabeth watched from an upper window at Rosings as the men walked in the funeral procession towards the church. Jane, Georgiana and Lucinda stood beside her. Silent tears slid down their cheeks, each lost in their own thoughts and memories.
"Anne was always so kind to me," Georgiana whispered, her voice breaking. "I cannot believe she is gone."
"Life can be so unpredictable," Lucinda agreed, her eyes filled with sadness. "We must cherish the time we have with our loved ones and hold them close to our hearts."
"Indeed," Elizabeth replied, her thoughts drifting to her family at Longbourn and the concerns that still plagued her. She wondered how she would ever find the strength to leave Rosings Park and face the challenges that awaited her back home. There was no hurry, at least; Lady Catherine had actually pleaded with Elizabeth and Jane to stay, apparently taking solace in their company, and both of them felt too much pity for Lady Catherine to think of abandoning her to her grief before they must.
The days following the funeral passed in a haze of grief and quiet reflection. The Matlock family, having fulfilled their obligations, prepared to depart for London once more. As they said their farewells, the Earl clasped Elizabeth's hand and spoke with sincere gratitude.
"Miss Elizabeth, your presence here has been a great comfort to us all during these difficult times. We are truly indebted to you for your loving care of Anne; nobody could have asked for better."
"Thank you, my lord," Elizabeth murmured, her heart heavy with the knowledge that it would soon be her turn to leave this place where she had experienced such a whirlwind of emotions. She watched as the carriage pulled away, carrying the Matlock family back to their lives in the city, leaving her to confront the uncertain future that lay before her.
Although the rest of his family had departed, Colonel Fitzwilliam remained at Rosings Park for a few more days before he too was obliged to return to his regiment. On the morning of his departure, Elizabeth found him standing alone in the drawing room, staring pensively out of the window at the rolling Kent countryside bathed in soft sunlight.
"Miss Bennet," he said, turning to face her as she entered the room, "I have been contemplating our conversations these past weeks, and I felt it necessary to share with you some thoughts before I leave."
"Of course, Colonel," Elizabeth replied, her curiosity piqued. "I value your counsel and am always eager to hear what you have to say."
Colonel Fitzwilliam hesitated for a moment, seeming to gather his thoughts. "It concerns my cousin Darcy," he began slowly, "and the future that may lie before him."
Elizabeth's heart clenched at the mention of Mr. Darcy, her feelings for him still a tangled web of confusion. She nodded for the Colonel to continue, her eyes fixed on his earnest expression.
"Darcy deserves happiness, and I trust that he will make the right decision when the time comes."
“Indeed,” she agreed, wondering if he was trying to tell her about Lucinda and Darcy becoming betrothed. “Though of course, with your family presently in mourning, nothing can be formalised as yet.”
The colonel looked relieved, before picking up her hand and kissing it. "I should have known that you would be the very soul of discretion. Until we meet again, Miss Elizabeth," he added, giving her a knowing look before taking his leave.
Puzzled by what he could mean, Elizabeth found herself lost in thought, trying to make sense of his cryptic words and their implications. Perhaps he thought that she was in Lucinda’s confidence, and already apprised of a secret engagement with Mr. Darcy which could not, of course, be announced until after the family were out of mourning? For a first cousin, the mourning period would be merely a few weeks, though perhaps they would wait longer to make the announcement out of respect for Lady Catherine.
“Excuse me, Miss Elizabeth,” the butler said from the doorway. “The post has come and there is a letter for you.”
“Thank you, Edmunds,” Elizabeth said, mustering a smile for him and accepting the envelope he passed her. It was from Mary, she saw as she turned it over, and with a grimace, shoved it into her pocket. Having written to Longbourn of Anne’s sad passing, doubtless the letter would be filled with Mary’s sermonising and some clumsy platitudes, along with demands passed along from Mrs. Bennet that Elizabeth and Jane return home. She was in no mood to read it just now, her thoughts still too full of Darcy and Lucinda’s apparent secret engagement. The colonel’s words could surely have no other meaning.
Sunlight dappled through the leaves overhead, casting a dance of shadows upon Elizabeth's face as she sat alone in the park the following morning. The previous day's concerns still weighed heavily upon her mind, and she found herself unable to shake the disquiet brought forth by Colonel Fitzwilliam's cryptic words. She absently fingered the letter from Mary within her pocket, reluctant to read its contents, lest it be yet another plea for her and Jane's return to Longbourn, mixed with Mary’s heavy platitudes for Anne’s passing.
"Enough," Elizabeth muttered under her breath, determined to confront whatever the letter might contain. With a deep breath, she withdrew the parchment from her pocket, carefully breaking the seal and unfolding the neatly penned pages.
"Dearest Lizzy," she read with furrowed brow, "I find myself compelled to share with you a matter of great concern. Our sister Lydia has been invited to accompany Colonel and Mrs. Forster to Brighton this summer, and our mother has convinced Papa to give his consent." Elizabeth paused, gripping the letter tighter as her heart sank with apprehension.
"I fear the consequences if she is allowed to go unchecked," Mary continued, "and though I know Lady Catherine de Bourgh herself is in need of your company, I implore you to make haste home to discuss this matter with Papa."
Elizabeth's pulse quickened, and her eyes widened in horror. Lydia, always impulsive and flirtatious, would surely create scandal in Brighton, further damaging the Bennet family's reputation. She could not bear the thought and clenched her jaw, anger flaring within her.
"Insufferable girl!" Elizabeth muttered under her breath. "Does she not realise the harm her actions may cause?"
She paced back and forth, her thoughts racing. There was no time to waste; she must return home immediately and persuade her father to forbid Lydia's trip. Elizabeth knew that her mother would not be swayed, but she held onto hope that her father would listen and understand the gravity of the situation.
"Jane and I must leave as soon as possible," she resolved, her heart heavy with the burden of responsibility. "If only there were more time..." And yet, she knew that every moment spent away from Longbourn could lead them closer to disaster.
As she walked towards the house, Elizabeth's mind was consumed by images of her family's ruin: Lydia's reckless behaviour, her mother's hysterics, and the devastation that could befall them all. The beauty of Rosings Park faded into the background, leaving only a gnawing anxiety in its place.
"Dear Father," she whispered urgently to herself, "please heed my concerns, for our family's sake."
Lost in her troubled thoughts, Elizabeth barely noticed the rustle of leaves and the quiet footsteps approaching her. It was only when Mr. Darcy's tall figure came into view that she realised she was no longer alone.
"Miss Bennet," he said in his deep, resonant voice, concern etched upon his proud features. "You seem quite distressed. I could not help but notice your disquiet as I passed by. Is there anything amiss?"
