Page 37 of Grief and Grievances
“Indeed, I am, Mr. Darcy,” she replied, turning to face him. His eyes held concern, but also a warmth that sent a shiver down her spine. “I was merely observing my cousin and Mr. de Bourgh.”
“Ah, yes,” Darcy said, stepping closer to the window. “I have noticed a change in your cousin of late. It seems Jeremiah has taken a liking to him.”
“Mr de Bourgh has a way of bringing out the best in people,” Elizabeth mused, her thoughts drifting back to the secret she had yet to share. Her heart clenched at the thought of potentially upsetting the delicate balance of their newfound understanding. But she could not continue with the weight of deception on her conscience.
“Mr. Darcy,” she began hesitantly, “Will you take a walk with me in the gardens? There is something I must speak to you about.”
He looked at her serious expression and nodded. “Indeed,” he said. “I have a topic I must discuss with you, as well.”
Unsure what he could mean—unless he too planned to confide in her about his secret relationship with Lucinda de Bourgh—she nodded uncertainly, and they set off into Rosings’ gardens, taking a path which would lead them into a more secluded area of the park.
“What was it you wished to say to me, Miss Elizabeth?” Darcy asked after they had walked a few minutes.
For the first time in her life, Elizabeth’s courage failed her. She could not stand, yet, to see his expression when she confessed her deception. Bad enough that he thought ill of her family, but to see him condemn her was more than she could bear.
“You first, if you please,” she said. “I am not quite ready to speak of it yet.”
“As you wish. In that case,” Mr. Darcy began, his voice measured and deliberate, “I must speak to you about Lady Catherine’s proposed journey. Though I understand her intentions are well-meant, I believe it would be in your best interests to inform her that you do not wish to accompany her.”
Elizabeth stopped in her tracks, her heart sinking as she looked at him in surprise. “Do you mean to say that I am unfit for such an excursion? Is my presence with your esteemed aunt so undesirable?”
“Please do not mistake my meaning,” he replied hastily, concern etching his features. “It is not your suitability that I question, but rather your happiness. You have already endured much upheaval, and I fear that being away from your family during these times may bring you greater distress.”
Elizabeth’s thoughts raced as she attempted to decipher the true meaning behind his words. Was he suggesting that her connection with Lady Catherine, would only serve to remind him of the impropriety of their association due to her family’s lower standing?
“Mr. Darcy,” she said, her voice wavering, “your concern is most kind, but I cannot help but wonder if your real desire is to distance me from your family and yourself.”
“Miss Bennet, I assure you that is not my intention,” he insisted earnestly, his eyes meeting hers with a vulnerable intensity she had never seen in him before. A sudden gust of wind sent a flurry of leaves dancing around them, momentarily distracting her from her inner turmoil.
“Then why,” she persisted, her brow furrowed in confusion, “would you discourage me from accepting Lady Catherine’s generous offer?”
“Miss Bennet,” Mr. Darcy began hesitantly, “I fear I am going about this all wrong.” He paused, running a hand through his dark hair in frustration. “Perhaps there will never be a perfect time for such discussions; it is only right that I seize the opportunity as it presents itself.”
Elizabeth glanced at him curiously, her heart pounding as she wondered what he might be about to confess. She remained silent, however, giving him the space to gather his thoughts.
“Forgive me,” he said, looking deeply into her eyes, “if my previous words have given you the impression that I believe you unsuitable for Lady Catherine’s company, or indeed any elevated society. Such is far from my intention. It is not your suitability I question, but rather the motives behind my aunt’s sudden interest in you.”
“Mr. Darcy,” Elizabeth replied, trying to suppress the flutter of hope that threatened to overwhelm her, “your concern for my welfare is touching, and I appreciate your candour. But I still do not understand why you would advise me against accepting her invitation.”
“Elizabeth,” he blurted out, his voice thick with emotion. “I fear that if you travel with her, we may lose the precious connection we have forged these past weeks.”
His vulnerability was palpable, and Elizabeth felt her heart swell with affection for the man who had been so reserved and distant when they had first met. She stepped closer, reaching out tentatively to touch his arm.
“Mr. Darcy,” she whispered, “I assure you that nothing—not even an extended journey with Lady Catherine—could sever the bond we share.”
He hesitated for a moment, taking a deep breath, before suddenly dropping to one knee before her. Elizabeth’s heart skipped a beat as she realised what was happening, her thoughts momentarily scattering like leaves on the wind.
“In vain have I struggled,” he began, his voice trembling with emotion. “It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. These past few weeks have only served to convince me of your kindness, goodness, and charity. I find my thoughts consumed by you, my heart captivated by your presence.”
“Mr. Darcy,” she whispered, her throat tight with emotion.
“My dearest Elizabeth,” he continued, determination etching his handsome features, “you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I can imagine no greater happiness than to call you mine—the most magnificent mistress of Pemberley imaginable... and my wife.”
Chapter Eighteen
Darcy’sheartpoundedashe studied Elizabeth’s face, the fine lines of her brow creasing in confusion. He had laid bare his soul, offering her everything he possessed in a single, ardent declaration. Surely she must have known how he felt? And yet, as her eyes widened and misted over with tears, Darcy knew that she had not been prepared for his proposal.
“Mr. Darcy,” Elizabeth stammered, her voice trembling as she spoke. “I... I must confess, I was not at all expecting... this.”
