Page 69 of The Outcast's Redemption
‘I told them you are one of Papa’s parishioners and it is my duty to visit you on his behalf. Sir Charles heard it, too, but he barely noticed me, I think I was very convincing as a reluctant and disapproving prison visitor.’
‘Surely this is not the same lady who berated me so soundly for involving her father in this matter?’
He was shaking his head, but Grace saw that he was smiling. There was a mixture of admiration and disbelief in his look and she knew a tell-tale blush was not far away. Resolutely she fought it down.
‘As I told the constable, one should never shirk from one’s Christian duty, however unpleasant.’ She nodded towards her basket, saying shyly, ‘I am more used to taking food baskets to the poor, but I know you have funds and your man will fetch your dinner later, so I thought I might bring you books instead.’
‘Thank you.’
Wolf’s dark eyes were fixed upon her, unfathomable but disturbing. To cover her confusion she began to empty the basket.
‘They are from my aunt’s library. I have brought you some poetry, theGentleman’s Magazineand the last two volumes ofUdolpho.’ He had come closer and her skin prickled with awareness of him. She was trembling and her throat was dry, but she chattered on as she lifted the final book from the basket. ‘I knew the guards would search the basket so I felt obliged to bring you a Bible, too, although I doubt you will read it.’
‘Grace.’
His hand covered hers as she laid the Bible on the table. She had removed her gloves to sign the visitor register and his touch was like a spark on dry tinder. The shock of it set her heart hammering against her ribs. She fixed her gaze on the holy book lying beneath their hands and her mind was suddenly filled with thoughts of the marriage ceremony, of clamouring bells and bouquets of spring flowers. With a gasp she tried to pull away, but Wolf’s grip tightened. He drew her fingers against his chest, forcing her to turn towards him. Grace kept her eyes lowered, staring at the top button of his embroidered waistcoat. Thoughts flashed through her mind with lightning speed. He was not wearing his coat and that was most improper. She thought how white his shirt was, how well his waistcoat fitted him, how it enhanced the flat stomach and narrow hips.
How much she wanted to put her arms about him.
‘Grace, look at me.’
She heard his soft words but dared not obey. If she raised her eyes she would see the broad shoulders made even wider by the billowing sleeves of his shirt, the lean jaw, shadowed now with a fine, dark stubble, the sensuous mouth that only had to smile to send all sensible thoughts flying. She swallowed nervously and gave her head a tiny shake. She must not look into his eyes or she was lost.
Wolf growled. She felt the rumble against her hand, still captive on his chest. He caught her chin, gently but inexorably pushing her head up. She tried to close her eyes and pull away, but her traitorous body would not obey and she found herself gazing into his eyes. They were the violet-blue of an evening sky.
‘I...’ She ran her tongue over her dry lips. ‘Must not.’
He was lowering his head and she could resist no longer. She had tasted his kiss before and was desperate to do so again. With a tiny cry she threw her free arm around his neck and reached up to kiss him. It was a fierce, reckless embrace and she felt clumsy, inexperienced, but only for a moment. Wolf’s mouth was working over hers and her whole body shuddered with delight. His arms went around her, holding her tight as the kiss deepened. Her lips parted and his tongue darted and delved, drawing a response from deep in her core. She was melting against him while his muscled body only seemed to grow harder. He was like a rock and she clung to him as waves of desire swept over her, leaving her weak.
* * *
Wolf raised his head, gasping like a drowning man. His body was shaking with the powerful hunger that coursed through him. It was the second time he had held Grace in his arms. She leaned against him, eyes half-closed and a delicate flush on her cheeks. But even now the languorous glow was fading. She lifted her head, a tiny crease of dismay already furrowing her brow. Soon she would be pushing him away, as she had done before. He could not bear to wait for her rejection so he released her and walked across to the window, rubbing one hand over his face.
‘Now do you see why it is so dangerous to come here alone?’ he demanded harshly.
When she did not reply he turned around. Grace was staring at the floor, clasping and unclasping her hands in front of her.
‘I have been fighting and fighting against this,’ she muttered, as if to herself. ‘It means nothing, save that I have been too many years alone. Itcannotmean anything. Once Loftus and I are married all will be well.’
‘Will it?’ Wolf shook his head, as much to clear his thoughts as to contradict her. ‘You are deluding yourself if you think Braddenfield will arouse such passions in you.’
She put her hands to her head, pushing her fingers against her temples.
‘You misunderstand me,’ she said slowly. ‘I do notwanthim to arouse me in that way. I had hoped to share those appetites once, with Henry, my first, my only love, but, butcarnaldesires have no place in my life now.’
He could not allow that, not when she had been in his arms, matching him kiss for kiss.
‘Well, theyshouldhave a place!’ He reached out and caught her hands. ‘Desire is not a sin, Grace, it is natural and you should not marry a man you do not desire.’
‘No!’ She backed away from him, crossing her arms over her breast. ‘Henry and I loved each other, we longed for the day when we could consummate our love and when I lost him it was unbearable.’
‘How old were you when he died? Eighteen, nineteen?’
She sank down on the edge of the bed, hunched over as if in pain.
‘I was nineteen. We were very much in love. We were made for one another. I knew it, even though we had known each other for less than two years. Can you understand that?’
‘Yes, I can.’ He knew now it was possible to fall in love in less than two months.
