Page 51 of Steve's Barmaid
“It was all Tyr’s idea?—”
“Well, isn’t that fortunate for you.” Joey rolled her eyes.
“A few days ago, we started noticing that one of you…Billie, in particular… started to smell of arousal while working at the bar. Tyr, because he is the tallest and best-looking male from Snaerfírar decided it must be because of him. He wanted to show Billie they could be Elska mates, but couldn’t get her alone. So, he decided it would be best to take her away from the rest of the tribe. When you showed up with her, I decided to take my chances with you…” he trailed off as if saying his plan out loud was the first time he realized how stupid it was.
“So you decided, based on me smelling like arousal alone, that kidnapping and forcing a matebond with someone from a rival tribe was the best course of action?” I asked, voice dripping with venom.
“Well, it doesn’t sound like a good idea when you put it that way,” he admitted lamely.
“Did you ever stop to think that maybe our tribe wouldn’t be pleased if you abducted us?” Joey asked, speaking slowly as if she were explaining something to a toddler.
Berit brightened up. “Yeah! I did! I mentioned that! But Tyr said if one of us were to come back with a matebond, then all would be forgiven.”
“Oh my god. You two are so fucking stupid I cannot even.” I put my face in my hands to stop myself from popping off.
Now that we were out of danger, I was more annoyed than anything to be put in this situation. Berit and Tyr were completely immobilized due to Joey’s handiwork.
“Berit,” I crossed my arms, feeling thoroughly irritated at the whole situation. “Did you ever stop to think that perhapsI smelled of arousal or sex or whatever you weirdos can smell because I was fucking an orc thatwasn’tTyr? Obviously, if I were pining after Tyr, I would have taken some steps to remedy that. I never even considered him. I was and am deeply involved with someone else.” I kept my voice saccharine, wanting him to realize exactly how stupid they’d been with all of the assumptions they’d made.
“Uh… who?” He seemed shocked.
“I’ve been fucking Steve, you moron.” I threw my hands in the air in exasperation.
“Steve?” Berit gave me a look of disbelief. “But he’s so small compared to the rest of us. And he spends so much timethinking,whatever that means.”
“You know, a male that is actually capable ofthinkingdoes have benefits, you absolute twat waffle.” I was actively stopping myself from punching Berit in the face, though he definitely deserved it.
I heard Joey giggle, knowing Berit would have no idea what I was saying. I couldn’t help but give her a grin. Now that it was clear we were never in danger, this situation was absolutely laughable. My only concern was how far we were from the tribe and if these two idiots could lead us back. Joey and I would be fine, but the problems this could cause for the tribe and tribal relations would be astronomical.
STEVE
Billie was gone. Even though we didn’t have plans for the evening, I grew worried both she and Joey disappeared after last meal. We hadn’t expressed intent to each other, but I assumed we’d spend the evening together. I must have been getting a second helping when she and Joey headed out.
I went to Billie’s room after dinner and knocked on her door. No answer. Knowing that most of the Fýrifírar didn’t have locks on their doors, I gently pushed it open, hoping Billie wouldn’t be annoyed with my invasion of her privacy.
But she wasn’t there. Her bed was made, and her cloak was hung next to the door. Wherever she was headed, she hadn’t planned on being gone long.
I left Billie’s room and went directly to the bar, the only place I could think she would be. I jogged there, starting to fear what may have happened to her, and was surprised to find Rekyr already at the bar.
"Billie is missing,” I told him, and looked around to see if she was standing outside somewhere.
“So are Tyr, Berit, and Joey,” Reykr said flatly.
I headed inside the bar to find it reeked of the sweet smell of svefanil, the herb our healer used to knock someone out when they needed to reset a bone. There was even a burnt-out torch with the herbs tied to it upstairs in the attic.
Reykr and I were both astonished.
“Do you think they are with Tyr and Berit somewhere?” I surveyed the rest of the bar for any other signs of abduction.
“I don’t see any other reasonable explanation. What a disaster. Joey and Billie wouldn’t have left without telling Piper. Tyr and Berit had to play a role. If we don’t fix this, Fýrifírar willbe furious that a rival tribe stole away two of their females. Do you think you can track Billie’s scent?”
I inhaled deeply, trying to catch a whiff of Billie underneath the overpowering stench of the svefanil. It took a second, but I caught it—her spicy, floral musk was there. I glanced at Reykr and nodded.
“Do you think you can follow it?”
“I have only ever used my hunting skills to track animals, but I am going to do my fucking damnedest.”
I was a member of the guard. I was never considered the strongest or the best because I was only a half-orc, but I had always excelled in tracking. It was the one area in which I outshone others. I had a keen eye for picking up details that others missed.
