Page 58 of Steve's Barmaid
STEVE
Elska mates. I had never dreamed of such a thing for me. I thought being a half-orc might preclude me from the option—especially if it was with a human. Yet, here she was, lying next to me, naked, and chewing on her lower lip.
“Hey, what are you thinking?” I asked.
She took a while to respond as if wanting to phrase what she was going to say very carefully.
“We don’t have fated mates on Earth. We have partners, and we have marriage, which is the most permanent way of committing to someone, but even then, people separate all the time. The idea of being bonded for life to someone is exciting but also scary.”
I couldn’t hide the hurt in my eyes. I was elated and wanted to run out and tell the whole tribe I’d found my mate—naked and all. And Billie was only… considering.
“I can’t say that I feel the same hesitancy. I’ve known all along, bond or not,” I said, trying to keep myself from choking up.
“Steve.” She stroked my arm. “I also worry that since you’ve never really been with someone, maybe you’re just infatuated because I am your first,” she said very quickly as if it would hurt less. It didn’t.
I knew I was inexperienced, but that didn’t change the fact that I had never met anyone like Billie. I had never felt drawn to anyone the way I was drawn to her. If she’d let me, I would follow her around, feeding her snacks and petting her hair. I could tell she wasn’t happy by her furrowed brow and pursed lips. Everything felt very precarious.
“Steve, it isn’t that I don’t want you as an Elska mate,” Billie clarified. “That isn’t it at all. I am just inexperienced in my own way. I have never had someone want me seriously. Fuck, I’ve never had someone want me longer than a month. So to have a gorgeous, funny, caring orc in front of me, offering forever, is a lot to take in.”
“So the idea that someone might want you forever is brand new?” I asked.
She nodded, tears starting to well in her eyes. I knew she’d said no touching while we had this conversation, but I couldn’t help it. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into an embrace. This was either a really good choice or a really bad choice because Billie started crying in earnest. She had her arms pulled in front of her chest, so I was basically bear-hugging her as she cried into my shoulder. I stroked her hair and let her cry. She didn’t pull away from me, so I hoped I was providing at least some level of comfort. She cried for a long time, and I just held her and wondered where the conversation would go from here.
Eventually, her cries turned into soft hiccups, and she pulled away from me. Her face was a blotchy mix of different shades of red and tear-streaked, but she still looked beautiful to me.
“I’m so sorry. Here you are, offering me everything I always wanted, and I can’t just say yes.”
My heart fell as she continued.
“It isn’t you. It is a permanency I have never been offered. And I can’t agree to a lifetime with someone, no matter how amazing they are, without at least thinking about what it will mean for me. You realize this means I would expect you to move here, right?”
“Yes. I already told Reykr I was staying if you’d have me.”
Billie looked shocked. “You really are so sure about this? About us?”
“I was sure before the mate marks appeared. Now I am convinced.” I shrugged.
Billie rolled that over in her head. “And what happens if you reject an Elska bond?” she asked.
The mere idea of this made me sick to my stomach and my chest feel tight, but I wasn’t going to bind Billie to me without giving her a choice. “The marks fade over time, but you never get another Elska. This is your one chance. You could take another chosen mate, though,” I said it, even though it killed me.
Billie shook her head. “No, no, that’s not what I want at all. There is no one else from Fýrifírar that I am remotely interested in. And it isn’t as if I am going to go after Tyr or Berit. Aside from the fact that they kidnapped me, they seem to lack basic common sense.”
“And Reykr?” I had to ask, though it was like a dagger to my heart, wondering if my mate might be interested in my best friend.
At this, Billie laughed. “Steve, you mean the world to me, but sometimes you don’t pick up on subtle cues. Have you not noticed Joey and Reykr?”
I thought back. I couldn’t think of anything that stood out to me about Joey and Reykr. They worked in the same space together often, but they never seemed to be deep in conversation.
“How can you tell?” I asked.
“They haven’t figured it out yet, but they don’t like to be apart. As soon as one of them musters up the courage to say something, I have a feeling they will fall hard and fast.” She raised her brows and cocked her head to the side suggestively.
“Why didn’t you tell me!?” I asked in mock outrage.
“It’s pretty obvious, my dude.” She rolled her eyes.
“We are getting away from our actual conversation, but we will return to this Reykr and Joey talk. Let me get this straight. You want me. You don’t want anyone else. But the idea of forever is overwhelming to you?”
