Page 64 of No Safe Place
Lily’s stomach twisted again, and she put a hand to it. She knew something wasn’t right, and the sick feeling was only getting worse.
Ginger was good for nausea. Cal always kept a bottle of ginger ale on standby for her, even though she hadn’t been on meds, and suffering the side effects, for a long time.
She slammed the fridge door, put a hand to her mouth and turned to the kitchen sink. There was nothing left for her to throw up, but she retched, dry-heaving over the coffee cups in the washing-up bowl.
Her phone was buzzing on the side – unknown number. Lily wiped her mouth. ‘Hello?’
‘Hello, is this Lily Stewart?’
‘Speaking.’ Weak again, she slid down the cabinets and sat on the floor.
‘Great. This is DS Wilson.’
Another stab of cramp, her stomach clenching hard.
‘I wanted to check, Lily, are you staying with your boyfriend again tonight?’
Lily stared at the phone, wondering whether something was wrong with the speaker. The voice sounded faint and far away.
‘Yes,’ she said, finally.
‘Okay, good. Now with everything going on, I’d advise you to lock the windows and put the bolt on the door. I’m sure you’re perfectly safe, but—’
The “but” hung in the digital air between them.
‘We’re hoping to interview Callum tomorrow, Lily. Could you come down to the Maudsley, in the morning? He’d like you to act as his appropriate adult.’
‘Oh. Yeah, I’ll be there.’
‘Great. We can pick you up.’ Wilson sounded relieved. ‘I’ll aim to get to you for around 10 a.m.?’
Lily made a noise of agreement and Wilson ended the call.
She checked the time. Scott had been gone a while, and she didn’t want him to wander through the door while she was on the phone to the hospital. But she wanted to see how Cal was, whether he was in bed.
She moved to the bathroom; ran a bath she didn’t want to get into. Dialled the number to the sound of the water.
Dr Maxwell couldn’t come to the phone, but Lily had a short conversation with a nurse. All she would say over the phone was that Callum was safe, and they’d take good care of him.
‘Okay,’ Lily said, weakly. ‘Thank you.’
She sat on the closed lid of the toilet, phone in her hand, and stared at the bath slowly filling.
Part of her could sense the fridge, looming in the kitchenette. Almost hear its low buzzing, its shelves full of health and vitality mocking her from inside it.
Chapter 40
P:I am not reliable.
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P:I am not stable. I am not rational. I am not always kind.
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P:I say the wrong things. I ask the wrong questions. I waste my doctors’ time. I don’t try hard enough. I think too much. I struggle with simple tasks. I don’t take care of my belongings. I don’t take care of my personal hygiene. I don’t take an interest in others.
Pause
