Page 90 of No Safe Place
‘The fainting worries me.’ He frowned. ‘Maybe we should get you a CT scan.’
‘Almostfainting.’ Lily smiled at him, accepting her toothbrush. She held it in her hand, too weak to lift it.
The sickness had left her feeling exhausted, and she could feel a headache coming on, a dull pain at the base of her skull.
She let her head lean against the edge of the bath, and Scott sat cross-legged on the bathroom floor, at her eye level, examining her face with a worried expression.
It was his eyes. The guilt on his face.
And then she knew.
Chapter 63
Saturday | Morning
Lily
She’d insisted on sleeping on the sofa last night. Scott wanted to stay with her, but she sent him away, scuttling back to his bed.
It had been tempting to confront him, there and then – but she was too weak. She needed to rest first.
So far, he had denied it all.
‘What have you been giving me?’ she asked him again, fighting to keep her voice level.
Scott ran a hand through his hair. His jaw was tense, and he looked cornered, pacing the living room like a caged animal.
‘Just tell me, Scott.’ Lily gripped the back of a dining chair, supporting her weight but refusing to sit down. ‘What have you done?’
Weeks of feeling not quite right, like she had a cold or a bug coming on. Then the first pangs of nausea, the cramps. The late period that had made her panic, take multiple tests.
Lily’s hold on the chair was so tight she thought it might splinter in her hands. She had goose pimples on her arms from adrenaline.
Scott let out a nervous shriek, half-laugh, half-cry, and threw his arms up. ‘Just say it. What are you accusing me of?’
‘This. You did this to me.’ She looked down at herself, her blotchy legs, thin and spammy below the hem of his black T-shirt. ‘I’m not ill, am I? I’ve been on meds before. These are side effects.’
He turned, and she saw he had tears in his eyes.
‘Don’t lie to me, Scott. Please don’t lie to me.’
Scott took three strides across the room and put one hand around her waist, the other in her hair. He looked down at her through his wet eyelashes.
Lily wanted to push him away, but she needed to hear him admit it, so she didn’t.
‘I love you, so much.’ Scott squeezed his eyes closed and a tear rolled down his cheek. ‘I love you, so much, and I wanted to keep you safe.’
He let go of her and sank into a dining chair, his head in his hands. Lily was still faint and unsteady but her anger – no, herrage– kept her upright.
‘I was going to tell you. I swear I was going to tell you,’ he said into his palms.
‘I can’t believe—’ Lily said, swaying slightly on her feet. ‘What right did you have to make that decision for me?’
Scott exhaled sharply and pulled another chair out. ‘Sit down, Lil. Please. You look like you’re about to collapse.’
Lily didn’t move.
‘I’m sorry.’ There was a wobble in Scott’s voice. ‘I didn’t realise you would—’
