Page 67 of Ridin' Free
It wouldn’t make me one of them. Not if I didn’t let it.
It was a few minutes after noon when I pulled onto the compound. I parked in the back of the bar’s lot then began to make my way toward the party that was already in full swing. I was still a good way off when I smelled the meat they were grilling. There were three smokers going outside the clubhouse. All the hogs usually parked out front were moved back to accommodate picnic tables crowded with a few Stallions and family members. Music was playing, kids were running about, the weather was perfect, and yet the moment I spotted Twister, I froze.
He was standing next to Maverick with a bottle of water in his hand. Rodeo and Bull were there, too—Bull with a beer dangling from his fingertips. Shepherd was sitting beside Jenna at the table in front of them. The stroller she had parked next to her was empty, the babe it was meant to carry nestled in Shep’s arms. Tess was at the table, too, but I saw neither Mary-Kate nor Lydia-Jane with her, which meant Mustang was there somewhere.
Every face was familiar—but not nearly as hauntingly familiar as the feeling invading my chest at the sight of them.
I knew if I walked up to the clubhouse, everyone would guess why I was there. Not because of Shadow. Not because I saw the crowd from the bar’s parking lot and my curiosity beckoned. Not because I was welcome as someone who had earned a standing invitation she so rarely accepted.
No, upon my approach, they would speculate I was there because of Twister.
The thought made my stomach turn.
I closed my eyes and furrowed my brow in a desperate attempt to shove away the dread I didn’t want to assign toBenson. He wasn’t Sean. He hadn’t invited me to be a shiny trophy or a pretty puppet.
‘…and I want a woman in my lap, it’s gonna be your ass on my thigh.’
Try as I might to grasp hold of Benson’s words and keep old memories locked away, my mind was suddenly flooded with them. All those nights Sean dressed me up to show me off only to punish me when it worked and I caught more attention than he liked. I couldn’t relive that. I wouldn’t.
The Stallions’ clubhouse wasn’t Sean’s nightclub.
The people in attendance respected me. At least, they did now. I couldn’t guess how their perspective of me might change once Twister flaunted me around.
‘I got you, sparky. You’re safe.’
Benson wouldn’t hurt me. I knew this to be true, but it didn’t matter.
I couldn’t be his trophy. It went against every boundary I’d drawn for myself.
It wasn’t the sound of his boots that brought me out of my thoughts, but the way his body blocked the sun from shining on my face as he came to a stop in front of me.
I opened my eyes the same time Twister asked, “Sparky? What’s wrong?”
Rather than feel startled at his sudden presence, I openly admitted, “I can’t do this.”
“Do what?”
“Be here.”
He frowned at me, but it was more curious than angry. His tone of voice confirmed it when he said, “Baby, it’s a cookout. Far more casual than a weddin’ and a whole lot more fun if you ask me. I don’t understand the problem.”
He was being so cool and casual. For reasons I couldn’t fully grasp, it seemed to irk me more than sooth me.
“You and I might be a thing, but I won’t be paraded around like a prize. I’m not your arm candy or your girlfriend or whatever, okay?”
He didn’t respond right away but studied me for a long moment. Finally, he took a step toward me, curled a knuckle underneath my chin, and tilted my head back.
“Phoenix, you’re spicier than you are sweet and you’re no girl. You’re not my candy, baby, but you are the woman I crave. I don’t know what motherfucker played with your mind so much the thought of a party spooks you, but I’m not him.”
My breath caught, and I could hear the pounding of my pulse in my ears as my mind braced, suddenly on high alert. How could he know? How was it so obvious?
How is it this man can see right through me?
“I like you,” he continued, as if brushing aside all my thoughts. “I want you around. Seein’ as I’m hittin’ the road tomorrow, I was hopin’ to get my fill of you before I left.”
He paused once more, nodded behind him, then concluded, “I shouldn’t have to remind you those people are my family as much as they are yours. You can pretend otherwise, but you know it’s true. If you turn around and walk away, I won’t stop you. But if you come with me and join the party, there sure as fuck won’t be a parade, just a bunch of brothers wondering how the hell I convinced you to give my ass a chance.”
He spoke, and it was as if his words were like a blow torch, setting my fear and apprehension on fire. In the blink of an eye, they turned to ash, leaving behind only one simple question.
