Page 85 of Ridin' Free
“I don’t—I don’t want to lose you,” I cried.
It was as much truth as I had to give.
The crease at his brow deepened as he shook his head at me.
“Is this about Scorpion?”
Reflexively, I stiffened at his name, and Ben noticed.
He tightened his grip around me, the tips of his fingers digging into the side of my neck just enough to remind me of his hold.
“I don’t want you worryin’ about him, hear me? He’s an old problem, not a new one. We’re handlin’ it, and I’m not goin’ anywhere.”
He didn’t know the half of it—but for a moment, I wanted to bask in the comfort of his reassurance as if he did. I nodded as much as his hold would allow. When he let me go in order to wipe away my tears, I drew in a deep breath and willed myself to calm down.
“You hungry?” he asked for the second time.
I shook my head—the thought of food the furthest thing from my mind.
I didn’t need sustenance. I neededhim.
“Take me to bed, brown-eyes,” I whispered.
He studied me for a beat, as if he was trying to assess if I was really okay. I’d been lying for years and was well practiced at donning a mask when I needed to—but I didn’t want to hide from him.
Instead of pretending everything was alright, I forced my mind back in time; back to the place I was when he walked into the bar and promised to fuck me in the storage closet.
I knew he was content with what he saw when he smirked at me before he took a step back, lowered himself, and shoved his shoulder against my hips. He hoisted me off my feet, draping me across his back, and I didn’t make a fuss. Still, as he carried me down the hallway, he smacked my ass anyway.
That was Benson.
My Stallion.
My daddy.
The slice of heaven I gripped with all my might.
I didn’t sleepallnight. I laid in the darkness, my eyes never leaving Ben. I couldn’t make it make sense—my choice in him. My choice to stay. Regardless, I wrestled the monster within, and I’d lost. I was exhausted, but I was sure.
I wasn’t leaving.
How I could make it work, I didn’t know. All I could do was take it one day at a time. One moment at a time. And—for now—my secrets were still my own. Scorpion was an unknown. He was a wild card. I knew better than to trust him, but it was possible I wasn’t quite as memorable to him as he was to me. The last time we saw each other, he’d been doped up. I could hardly remember a time when I saw him and he wasn’t drunk or on drugs.
His unreliable memory was a flimsy possibility on which to hang my hope, but it was all I had. Maybe I was delusional.Perhaps it was my lack of sleep. Whatever the reason, I wasn’t going to let go.
When Twister began to stir, I closed my eyes, feigning slumber. Rather than get out of bed right away, I felt the heat of his body as he rolled toward me. In a touch more delicate than I thought him capable, he grazed his fingertips across my shoulder, tickling the side of my neck before tracing the curve of my jaw. He then swept the pad of his thumb across my lips before he pressed his own against my temple.
More times than not, he was the one waking me up in order to say goodbye in the mornings. I’d never felt him touch me this way, and it made me wonder how many touches I’d missed while I was sleeping.
I didn’t need another reason to stay—but he just gave me one.
He got up and headed for the bathroom. When I heard him start a shower, I opened my eyes and stared at the rumpled sheets he left behind. Worn out as I was, I knew there would be no rest for my wicked soul, so I got up. I searched the floor for the muscle shirt we discarded on the floor hours earlier, using it to cover my nakedness when I found it. Raking my fingers through my hair, I padded my way out of the bedroom and to the kitchen, headed straight for the coffee maker.
My cup was brewed and I was adding a drop of stevia to the mug when I felt him at my back. He grabbed hold of my shoulders and gave me a squeeze as he pressed his lips to the crown of my head.
“Didn’t expect you to be up,” he mumbled into my hair.
“I—uh—I had a hard time sleeping,” I confessed.
