Page 86 of Ridin' Free
He grunted then urged me to turn in order to face him. Butting a knuckle underneath my chin, he tilted my head back and stared at me with a furrowed brow.
“Thought I fucked that out of you.”
I forced a small smile and replied, “I’ll be fine.”
“Baby, I’ve seen you sleep. No bullshit. Talk to me.”
It was like he thrusted his hand inside of me, grabbed hold of my heart, andsqueezed. It was a simple if not earth-shatteringly complicated request. It was also a reminder of who he was—of what we’d become.
He never hid from me.
He never lied to me.
He never hurt me.
Staring up into his beautiful brown eyes, it felt like a knife to the gut to admit how I was the one who couldn’t be trusted. But I wanted to stay. I wanted thisthingof ours to be as true as it was real. I wanted to be honest, but I didn’t knowhow.
“There’s so much you don’t know about me,” I whispered, clutching my mug tightly to my chest. “So muchno oneknows.”
He quirked an eyebrow at me and replied, “Hate to break it to you, sparky—but this is not news to me.”
I searched his face, afraid of his judgment, and yet I saw nothing but hisamusement.
“It isn’t?”
He chuckled softly as he shook his head. “Not two weeks ago, you told me you used to work a fuckin’ pole. Won’t soon forget what that jackass I ran out of town did to you when you were a kid, and I’ve had you every which way except for on your back. Not to mention, I still don’t know why you carry that knife on your hip.
“Ali, I’d have to be a fuckin’ idiot to think there’s not a whole lot about you I’ve yet to learn.”
All at once, I felt as relieved as I was afraid.
Relieved he wasn’t demanding answers.
Afraid one day he would.
A part of me was certain I could never tell him the whole truth.
But there was another part of me—the weakest most reckless part of me—that wanted him to have it all.
He wouldn’t want you if he knew the whole truth, and you know it, taunted the devil within.
I gripped the mug in my hands tighter, keeping my mouth sealed shut. I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing at all.
Not surprisingly, this didn’t deter Benson in the slightest.
“Told you last night. I’m not goin’ anywhere. Not in a hurry, either. You’ll tell me when you’re ready. Don’t care how long it takes, nothin’ changes. It’s you and me, Ali. Hell, I’ll be the first to admit, I didn’t see this shit comin’—but we’re solid. Hear me?”
More than anything, I wanted to believe him, so I didn’t argue. Instead, I nodded my reply.
“Good. I gotta go.” He leaned down and pressed a firm kiss against my lips. He didn’t linger but a second before he pulled away and muttered, “See you tonight.”
I nodded once more, and then I watched him go, clinging desperately to every promise he’d ever made me—hoping, against all odds, I wouldn’t have to let him go.
That night,Rodeo andBuck were my company behind the bar. I was running on fumes, which meant any mistakes Buck made flew under the radar. I had only enough energy to worry about keeping my patrons happy until the end of the night.
Two AM couldn’t arrive fast enough.
It didn’t go unnoticed how business seemed a bit slower than usual, the crowd thinner with a lack of Stallions. Earlier, I didn’t ask Benson for details about how the situation with Scorpion was being handled. Neither had Rodeo or Buck brought it up inconversation. In all honesty, I wasn’t sure Iwantedto know. I simply wanted him to stay away.
