Page 94 of Ridin' Free
Homewasn’t merely a place for her. It was a feeling.
‘You bought this big house so you’d have someplace for junk mail to get delivered?’
‘Grew up on a ranch, remember?’
He jerked his head up, dropping his arms to his sides as he looked to Maverick.
“I think I know where she is,” he said, not thinking twice about it.
It was a longshot, but it was all he had.
“We talkin’ days or hours?”
“If I’m right? Hours. If I’m wrong…” He let his sentence trail off as he shook his head, indicating he had one lead and one lead only.
“Alright. Let’s roll.”
“Mav, you’ve got Lane. Your ol’ lady will want you home sooner than later.”
He was already headed for the door. “I’m a father now, but that doesn’t make me any less your brother. I can spare a fewhours. If you’re wrong, I’ll tap out.” He paused at the entrance, glancing back over his shoulder. “But if she really is your woman, you won’t be wrong. Let’s go.”
It didn’t surprisemewhen I heard the pounding of his fist against my motel door. If anything, it surprised me how long it took him to figure it out.
I wasn’t playing games with him. That wasn’t why I drove to Dayton, the small town where he grew up. In part, I chose this spot because I didn’t know where else to go. But I knew eventually he would come looking for me. I made it easy for him. Honestly, I didn’t want him to go through too much trouble. In the end, he would find out it wasn’t worth it.
I wasn’t worth it.
“Ali, I know you’re in there. Open this damn door,” he hollered, rattling the locked knob.
I arrived at the motel nearly twelve hours ago. I had all day to prepare; and yet, as I stood to let him in, I did so on unsteady legs. When I reached for the lock, I noticed my hands were shaking.
On the other side of the door was my heart. I could feel him through the barrier. After the agony of ripping my insides to shreds the night before, I didn’t think I could ache anymore. The absence of him, the emptiness which remained after walking away from everything we were and everything we could have been—it was compounded by the loss of the only place I’d ever felt at home. I had been scraped raw. How it was possible to hurt even more simply hearing his voice, I didn’t know.
Then I opened the door, I took one look at him, and I realized—in spite of everything—I hadn’t known hell until now.
I don’t know how long we stood there, neither of us speaking a word; but with every second that passed, my vision got a little blurrier as my eyes welled with tears. For as long as I could stand it, I didn’t blink, hoping to delay the return of my clear vision. I knew by the way he was looking at me—curiosity bordering on pity—my secret wasn’t a secret anymore.
It was after my first couple of tears spilled over my eyelids that I decided it was time to get this over with.
“He told you,” I murmured, breaking the silence.
“Would rather hear it from you,” he said before he took a step toward me, compelling me to let him in.
I let go of the door, backing up until I was in the middle of the small room. He shut us in, and I began to let loose memories I’d been keeping under lock and key for years. This was it. This was my chance to come out of hiding, to reveal myself to the man who never hid from me.
The most delusional part of me once imagined the truth could set me free.
Now, reality was here to set the record straight.
The truth wouldn’t free me, but it would force him to let me go.
It would free Ben from the fantasy that was us—and after all my pretending, I owed him that much.
“I met him when I was nineteen. He was wealthy and handsome—but it wasn’t his money I was after. I thought he wanted me. I thought he could be my escape. A month after we met, we flew to Vegas and got hitched. I didn’t know it then how I’d tied myself to a man worse than any I’d ever known.
“He owned a night club in Denver, and he hired me on as a waitress. But not just any waitress. I served only those rich enough to buy their way into the VIP section. My first night, one of his buddies touched my leg. It wasn’t anything I hadn’t experienced before. In fact, it was so minor a thing, I didn’t even think about it. But that night, when we got home—Sean made sure to expressexactlyhow major an infraction it had been.”
I paused long enough to take a breath, then continued without blinking.
