Page 19 of Unrivaled Love
Last year, I got on the plane to Colorado hungry for a few weeks of R&R, knowing it would help me come back even stronger when the season started. I was primed and ready to hit the ice and prove I was the best.
This year, I am the best. I won it all.
And it was so much fucking work to get there.
The path crunches under my feet and I snap back a dead branch every so often so it's not at chest height when I return later.
Through the trees I can see the sky shifting from orange to pink to purple to inky blue as the sun descends.
I reach the clearing and the water shimmers as the evening breeze creates gentle ripples across the surface. The tire swing is tied up to the tree that overhangs the lake. A smile lifts the corners of my mouth as I sit on a large log and lean forward to balance my elbows on my thighs.
This spot was the center of our world as kids.
I remember the time I snuck out of the lake to steal Chris and Mason’s clothes after we spent the morning mountain biking before skinny dipping to cool off. I chuckle now remembering how they tried to catch me while holding their junk.
It’s where Al Hamilton and Mason kissed because of a dare Kaitlyn served up. We all watched and dissolved into laughter as they both wiped their mouths after as if the kiss tasted like brussels sprouts.
It’s where I thought about kissing Jo for the first time.
My head spins and I close my eyes.
I focus on things I can feel. It’s a grounding strategy I learned from a book. The character used it for a panic attack but I bet it would work for whatever I’m going through right now.
The first sensation is the breeze along my skin and the goosebumps that erupt. I inhale the smell of pine and earth.
A mental image of me and my family on the ice after the win a month ago surfaces and suddenly my nose stings with emotion.
I don’t think I’ve ever experienced that level of exhaustion and exhilaration all at once. My body was wired but also felt like it could collapse if I let it.
Tears push against my eyes and, alone, here in the woods, I let them fall.
I sink to the ground and lean my back against the log. I let the emotion move through me.
For a month I’ve been fighting this. Battling against the desire to fold in on myself. Pushing to keep my head high, my persona bright.
It was a relief to win The Cup. I earned it. We earned it.
But what do I do now?
It was a fucking war to get to that moment. Am I supposed to pick up and walk to the front line again?
I’m not sure I can motivate myself to do it.
It’s like winning isn’t enough anymore.
I need more.
The question is, will I be able to find it?
Chapter 6
Jo
Bryson Fucking Svoboda
AfterCoachsentmeoff the field, I threw my shit into my car and drove. When the exit for my apartment approached, I accelerated and followed the signs south to Provo. After Provo, as I drove alongside the mountains in the distance, I realized where I was headed.
A big smile cracked across my face as I drove towards Telluride.
