Page 25 of Below the Far Horizon
“Too bad about the tragedy.”
“Yeah. That’s what I was just thinking.”
They didn’t need to say anything. They both knew what it was. Although Trevor hadn’t been there, he’d still been affected, because everyone in their small town had been affected. And Yolanda had been part of the group. Until she was gone. And wasn’t anymore. She had more than once come out here to hang out and to have fun on the farm. Where the wide-open spaces beckoned, and there were never-ending things to do and explore. Not like there wasn’t a huge lake down below to explore and have fun too. And there were several vantage points on the farm where the views of the lake were just absolutely outstanding.
“It’s too bad about that. I think that’s why Claire never came back. And this is such a beautiful place.”
“Yeah. It’s funny how we allow the things in the past to control us.” Even as she said that, it made her angry, just a little. After all, she didn’t want some random incident from years ago to define who she was today. Although, somehow it did. Not just the tragedy from her youth, but her husband’s betrayal, her divorce, the loss of her job, all of those things had beaten her down and made her feel less than.
“Whatever happens to us, our worth is supposed to be because we’re a child of God. The creator of the universe, the living God, the master of everything, loves us and considers us His children when we trust in Christ. We’re brothers with Jesus.”
“And sisters,” she said easily, but she knew what he meant. That should trump everything. It should make everything look small in comparison. And it should keep them from allowing themselves to be beaten down by life. But somehow… Somehow she allowed it to happen anyway.
“It’s funny how easily we forget. How easily we’re swayed by whatever is right in front of us.”
“Or whatever looms large in our minds. Why can’t God be just as large as tragedy and sadness and regret?”
“And as big as betrayal and mistakes and all the negative things. We make those negative things so much bigger than any positives we could possibly find.”
“Not only the positive of God loving us, of being a child of God, finding my worth in Christ, but there’s also the positive of how our trials and the things that we’ve gone through make us better people.”
They stopped at the gate to the yard and faced each other automatically, and saw each other trying to grapple with the question and come up with a satisfactory answer.
“I think that’s the point of life,” Grace finally said.
“What?” Trevor asked, as though he had lostthe thread of their conversation. Maybe he had. His thoughts surely weren’t going in the same direction that hers were.
“I know that after we’re saved, God leaves us here and doesn’t take us to heaven right away, because He wants us to tell other people about Him.”
“I agree. But I don’t see how that fits with what we were talking about.”
“I just didn’t want you to think I was developing a new reason for us to be here, contrary to what the Bible says.”
“Okay.”
“But I do believe that as we’re left here, we go through these trials, these hard things, and the point of our life is to bring glory to God through them. And that makes us better people, because you can’t go through trials without being changed. Sometimes it’s for the worse.”
“Like when we focus on the bad.”
“Exactly. We fail to see God’s hand when we insist on looking at how dark and dim things are rather than seeing how God is trying to work in us and change us to be more like Him.”
“It’s a really hard thing to think about sometimes. Especially when you’re grieving, or your heart is broken, or you feel so terrible you just don’t have words.”
“And like you can’t go on.” She knew that only too well. She certainly had days—and, if she were being honest, weeks—like that after she found out her husband was cheating on her. She didn’t want to go into all of that right now with Trevor.
“But you’re saying that focusing on the good makes you better.”
“I think so. And I also think sacrifice, when God says to us, do you love me more than this? And whatever it is that He’s allowed to be taken from you or whatever hard thing He’s asked you to go through or do, you have to be willing to pry your hands up away from what you want and let it go.” She had had to learn that about her husband and her marriage and all the dreams that she had for her life.
“You’re talking like you have experience.”
She looked at the ground, at the sand and stone that were as much a part of her childhood as the wind and the water and the lake itself. “When I got married, I thought I would be married forever.” She hadn’tbeen going to talk to Trevor about it, but it seemed like he was interested. And it showed an example of what she was talking about.
“I think we all think that when we get married, don’t we?”
“Maybe. I suppose in modern day, there are a lot of people who are thinking, we’ll try this and see if it works. But anyway, I thought I would have a fiftieth wedding anniversary. I thought I would have a family, children, grandchildren, you know?” She had been driven to be successful, yes, but she had expected to have all of that as well.
“And?” he prompted her.
