Page 51 of Below the Far Horizon
“I’m sorry, son,” his dad said, putting a hand on his shoulder, as though he knew exactly what Trevor was thinking.
“Dad, I’m happy for you. I don’t want you to be sad right now. This is an exciting time for you. Your new family loves you, and you’ve got a girlfriend that you’re hoping to marry soon.”
“I did want to talk to you about that,” his dad said, dropping his hand and moving away a little, looking at the shelf where the sandpaper and sanders and various nails and screws were stored.
“About what?” Trevor asked, wondering if he had missed something.
“I was thinking about asking Gita to marry me.”
“Don’t you think it’s kind of fast?” Trevor asked, trying to figure out exactly how long Don and Gita had been seeing each other. For real, not for fake.
“Maybe it feels fast to you, but it feels like forever to me, and I’m not getting any younger. Plus, it’s not like Gita is someone I just met and Idon’t know anything about her. I know she’s a solid, upstanding, God-fearing woman, who is living for Jesus. That’s what I want. Hopefully she knows the same things about me and feels just as comfortable with me as I do with her.”
That’s all a person really needed. To know that someone loved Jesus, and to know their history was even better.
“When you put it that way, it makes sense.”
“And I guess at my age, I can’t help but think that every day that I don’t spend with her is a day that we’re wasting, because I don’t have an unlimited number of days. No one does. It’s just that when you get to be this age, you really realize that for real.”
Trevor hadn’t gotten to that age yet. The years of missing Grace, and wishing that she was his, seemed to stretch out endlessly in front of him. He didn’t exactly wish that his life was shorter, but a shorter life would mean less pain.
“I guess I’m not old enough to understand that yet,” he said, and he couldn’t help that his voice sounded a little depressed.
“The right girl is going to come along, one who appreciates you and loves you for who you are. Sees what you are and thinks you’re the greatest ever. I don’t know why Grace can’t see that, but it seems like she’s always looking beyond you for things that are better. It makes me mad, even though I love her and think she’s a wonderful person.”
“Thanks.” That was the right answer, but he didn’t much feel like thanking his dad. Because he really wanted to hear his dad say,I think Grace actually likes you. She’s just doing a good job of pretending she doesn’t. Or even better, he could say,Grace admitted to me that she really does like you. And regrets the things she said.
Of course, there was that kiss. What was with that?
It almost felt like a goodbye kiss to him. He hadn’t wanted to participate in anything like that. It would have been like loading the gun for the firing squad to shoot him. Well, maybe not that terrible, but still, it felt like an ending rather than a beginning, and he didn’t want endings with Grace. He wanted beginnings. For the rest of their lives.
“That looks nice,” his dad said, indicating the coatrack that Trevor held loosely in his hands now.
“There’s just something I was thinking about. I wish I had moreartistic talent, to paint some flowers or something right here where the header is. It would look a lot better.”
“Grace has that talent,” his dad said and then shook his head. “I’m sorry. I just always thought the two of you fit so well together. I’ll try not to say things like that in the future.”
“Dad. It’s okay. I’m not some little snowflake that’s going to crumble if you mention something that I don’t want you to. Talk about her if you need to. And if you’re getting married to her mom, you’re going to be seeing her a lot, I would assume, since I think she’s moving in with her mom permanently.”
“That’s what her mom said, and Gita seemed to be pretty happy about it. Of course, I’m not sure what’s going to happen since Gita and I plan to live together, and you live with me and Grace lives with her… That could get a little crowded at the breakfast table.”
Trevor didn’t miss the glint of humor in his dad’s comment. He tried to laugh along with it. “Whichever house you guys choose to live in, I suppose Grace will stay in her house, and I’ll stay here, so you only have one of us.”
“The other one’s going to visit.”
“Yeah. I suppose they will.” He didn’t want to think about how awkward that would be. Maybe he had jumped the gun and shouldn’t have planned to move back to spend so much time with his dad.
“I can see you’re thinking right now that maybe you should see if you can get your job back and move back to the ’burbs, but don’t even think that way. I want you here. Need you.”
He didn’t know how much his dad actually needed him, but he did know that if his dad said he needed him, there was no way Trevor could say no.
“I’m not. I love it here, and I love being here with you. And these are supposed to be the years you and I spend together.”
“I hope you don’t mind if Gita is involved in those too.”
“That’ll make me happy.” It wouldn’t make him happy if he had to see Grace, especially seeing Grace with some other man.
He needed to stop thinking about that though. He needed to figure out a positive way to spin it. Wasn’t that what Grace was telling him? That she figured out how to see things in apositive manner and focus on that? That’s what he needed to do. That, and to let her go, and just accept whatever God allowed in his life. Because God always did what was best.
