This time when he nodded, he was more confident. ‘That’s okay. Take your time. We can figure out what our next step will be another time.’
‘Thank you.’ She looked at him. Part of her wanted nothing more than to throw herself in his arms, to feel his embrace, his warmth, but she knew she needed to take some time. She knew she needed to let this all sink in. Forcing herself to walk away, she hurried down the hill towards the ocean below. With every step she took, she could feel her breathing decrease a little more, could feel her heartbeat slow.
Chapter Nineteen
With the pub now to her left, she could hear the chatter and laughter of people enjoying a late lunch in the courtyard. She passed and searched the full tables, the people leaning against the wall, drinking and eating crisps. Could she be related to someone here?
A noise from across the street tore her attention away from the diners, and she watched as an elderly couple closed their front door and walked towards the Land Rover sitting outside. What about them? What if they were Lockie’s parents? Her grandparents?
Holding her hand over her mouth, she muffled a sob. She was here in the middle of Penworth Bay, and she didn’t know who might be her family. She had no other connection to the dad she never had. Any of these people might be her relatives, and she didn’t have a clue.
She began walking again, forcing herself to put one foot in front of the other when what she really wanted to do was to sink to the kerb and bury her face in her hands.
What if she’d served one of them? What were the names of the couple who had introduced themselves as she’d served them on her first day? Maeve and Kevin? No, that wasn’t it. But whatever their names were, what if they were her grandparents? And she’d just made small talk with them as she’d sold them doughnuts or whatever it was they’d bought?
She found herself standing outside the bakery, unsure how she’d got there. Weaving through the throng of people looking at the baked treats in the window and standing in line, Tillystepped into the bakery, the aroma of baked bread and fresh cookies overwhelming her.
‘Hello, Tilly, love. Have you had a nice morning?’ Elsie called as she carried a tray of iced buns towards the counter.
Tilly nodded as she hurried behind the counter and pulled open the door to the flat above the bakery. Shutting it firmly behind her, Tilly threw herself down on the bottom step and leaned her head against the brightly wallpapered wall. Closing her eyes, she drew in breath after breath. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t stay working in the bakery, serving these people who she might be related to. She couldn’t stay in the bay, not knowing who her dad’s family were or how to find out about them.
She couldn’t breathe. She felt stifled. She felt on show. Vulnerable.
Pushing herself to standing, she half-walked, half-crawled up the stairs before rushing into her room. Pulling the two half-empty bin bags of clothes from beneath the bed, she began stuffing the things she’d unpacked into the drawers inside.
She’d made her decision, but her head, the pain... Sinking to her knees, she leaned her forehead against the soft duvet and closed her eyes, willing the migraine to subside. She couldn’t drive like this.
A knock at the door sounded behind her, and she croaked out, ‘Come in.’
She listened as the opening of the door was followed by padded footsteps towards her. She felt an arm cover her shoulders as someone knelt down next to her.
‘Oh, Tilly, love. What’s happened?’ Elsie spoke, her voice quiet and soothing beside her.
‘My head.’ Even to herself, the sound that escaped Tilly’s throat didn’t sound like her.
‘Let’s get you into bed.’ Gripping her shoulders, Elsie helped her to her feet and pulled the duvet back.
Looking at the bed, Tilly shook her head. She shouldn’t. She just wanted to leave, to get away from the bay and the people in it, but she knew there was no chance she could get behind the wheel. Not with a migraine. Dropping onto the bed, she waited until Elsie had covered her with the soft duvet before closing her eyes.
‘I’ll bring you up some water and painkillers, love.’ Elsie tucked her in before leaving.
Tilly pulled the duvet over her head. She’d leave when she woke up.
Chapter Twenty
Tentatively opening her eyes, Tilly listened. There it was again, a quiet knock on her bedroom door.
‘Tilly, love. Are you awake?’ Elsie called quietly through the door.
Tilly carefully pushed herself to sitting, bracing herself in case the migraine was still there. Nope. The pain had abated. She turned and looked gingerly towards the window and the sunlight flooding in around the edges of the curtains - the ultimate test. That was fine too. She let out a relieved sigh. ‘I’m awake.’
‘Can I come in, love?’
‘Yes.’ Scraping her hair from her face, Tilly rubbed at her eyes. She’d been crying most of the night before finally falling asleep, she didn’t dare look in the mirror as she knew her eyes would be red and puffy.
‘Oh, Tilly, love. Are you okay?’ Elsie passed her a mug before perching on the edge of the bed.
‘Thanks.’ Wrapping her hands around the mug, Tilly took a sip of the hot coffee, grateful for the spoonful of sugar Elsie had added in. ‘Not really. There’s something I left out when I told you the reason I’d come to Penworth Bay.’