Page 114 of Road Trip
“Hey, Abra, you going next door?” His name was Schroeder and he was an odd one, but I loved listening to him play piano. He was a master of many instruments as well. Trumpet, guitar, stand up bass…
“Yeah, you?”
He nodded. “Tell McShane I’ll be there as soon as I wrap up over here. He left early to set up.”
I frowned. What was there to set up? He was gone before I could ask him anything else. I took a deep breath and reached for the door to the Bistro.
Stevie yanked the door out of my hand...and her jaw dropped.
“What happened to pajamas? You look good enough to eat!” Once she was over her shock, she hugged me and kissed me on the cheek.
“Don’t make a big deal of it, okay?”
All of a sudden I really didn’t feel well. It was hard to get air in and I thought I might keel over. My hearing went a little funny and I felt really unsteady. I really hoped I wasn’t having a panic attack. That would be new in my repertoire. Stevie guided me over to a table tucked away in front of the makeshift stage, but away from the windows.
“Abey baby? Hey, babe? Can you get Abra some water?” I heard McShane’s voice, and then he was bringing me a glass.
“You sure you don’t want a beer?” he joked, but he must have seen the whole fucked-upness I had going on. He knelt down next to Stevie in front of me.
“Abra, you look beautiful. I’m so glad you came tonight. Me and my little jam session friends put together something nice, and Stevie and I wanted you to be here.” I looked into his dark brown eyes and noted his warm smile. These were my friends and they loved me no matter how much of a wreck I was.
“I’m sorry. I just haven’t been out since Mom died, and…” I felt tears coming, so I took in a deep breath and let Stevie talk me down.
With Stevie’s coaching I was breathing normal soon. Aaron whispered something to her, and she said, “We’ll be fine. You go get ready!”
He gave me a worried look before trotting off to the back.
“Okay now?” she asked me.
I nodded hesitantly. I still really wanted to leave, but I owed it to my friends. And if Kelly was here and I missed an opportunity to talk to him, to tell him…
What was I going to tell him? That I was stupid for not pushing him to tell me why he’d been gone? If he had just told me it was work, I would’ve understood. But then, why didn’t I just trust him? He’d done nothing but be there for me, be honest with me. Sure he fucked up, but how many times had I been awful and he’d put up with me? Could he forgive me? I wouldn’t have forgiven myself.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” the emcee began. “Tonight is a special night at the Bistro. We have a special set lined up before our Open Mic begins. Our neighbors from Vinyl Mine are going to share with you some jazz. Please give a warm welcome to The Standards.”
Aaron, Schroeder, Callie, some young guy I didn’t recognize…and Kelly walked out. The Bistro was about half full at this point and everyone was hooting and hollering. I looked around and saw even Manny was there in the corner. He waved at me and saluted with his beer. Stevie sat at the table with me and held my hand.
All I could do was stare at Kelly. It didn’t seem real that he and I were in the same room. I felt as though I were watching the events on TV, like my mom used to do from her rocking chair. Maybe I’d finally lost it and it was all a dream. I was actually sitting in that damn chair destined to be another catatonic waste of human space for my grandmother to care for.
No matter what was actually happening, Kelly was before me. He was wearing a white button-down and gray slacks. His hair had grown out a bit and was falling over his eyes. He didn’t look up, just sat down on a stool, made sure his guitar was in tune, and waited for the others to settle. The guy I didn’t know sat at the piano, Schroeder pulled out a trumpet, Aaron pulled up a stool next to Kelly, and Callie stepped up to the mic.
“Thank you all for being here tonight. This little rag tag group of ours has been messing around with some songs, and we thought we’d play a few for you. The first one is a Django Reinhardt classic called ‘You’re Drivin’ Me Crazy.’”
Kelly and Aaron led the others in a dueling guitar jaunt that was upbeat and fun. It was an instrumental, so Callie stepped back and let the boys have their fun. Kelly was concentrating so hard his cheeks were mottled red. I loved watching his fingers move deftly up and down the fret board and his strumming hand was so precise, his movements seemed effortless. Aaron watched him closely and it was obvious they’d spent a lot of time practicing together.
When that was over, everyone clapped loudly and whistled. Callie stepped back up to the mic and said, “Thank you. Our next song will be ‘Till There Was You.’”
Callie’s voice was perfect and it brought me out of my fugue. This was real. I was really sitting here dressed up, listening to my friends make music together. It was beautiful. But as I listened to the words, I knew for sure there was a reason for all of this. Aaron smiled his huge, toothy, white smile at Stevie, but it was my farm boy who I concentrated on. He played so well; I wanted to cry all over again. He’d brought the guitar to Gran’s, but there was never a time he could really bring it out and play for us. I had wanted to be alone with him and have him play for me. We never got that chance. I was determined that we’d at least have that chance if he still wanted to. This night was breaking my heart all over again, but I was determined to sit through this.
I loved the music, though, and let it carry me away. They played two more jazz classics, and I let the emotions run over me like a freight train, knowing I just had a little bit longer before I would be able to try to talk to him. I just wanted to watch him a little longer. But then my heart dropped. Callie moved the microphone over between Aaron and Kelly, and Aaron put his guitar down. Kelly pulled the mic closer to him, looked at me for the first time, and spoke words that glued me to my seat.
“I just wanted to say that this next one is for Abra, but I can’t sing it as well as Aaron, so I asked him to sing it for me.” He pushed the mic back at Aaron. Once again his focus was on his guitar as Aaron started singing softly.
I’d never heard him sing before. He had a really nice voice. All I could focus on was my farm boy. I quickly recognized the tune as “Stars” from Sixx: A.M. I had played it for Kelly on our way home from Vegas and told him it could be our runaway theme song. Now I wished with all of my being that we were back in my car, driving away from all of the ugliness that had crept up on our little love story and smashed it to pieces. Tears flowed freely from my eyes and I didn’t even care. I pulled off my now useless fake eyelashes and shoved them in a napkin.
“He worked so hard on this, Abey baby, just for you. I’m so glad you came!” Stevie hugged me.
The song finished and the crowd cheered the loudest yet. Kelly looked up at me and gave me a hesitant, hopeful smile.
