Page 39 of Road Trip
Abra had been trying to take a drink of water and she spit it out on my T-shirt, which had me practically rolling on the floor. I could not get myself under control. Finally I caught my breath, even though the stitch in my side was murder, and said, “I think you need to go rescue the mermaid over there.”
The server looked up in horror. The scene had escalated. The little boy was now karate kicking Arabelle in the shin, screaming “HIYAH HIYAH,” and the little girl was trying to pull her wig off.
“DAT’S NOT YOU REAW HAIW, AWABEWE! YOU A FAKE!’
Luckily there weren’t a whole lot of folks dining outside on the patio like we were, so they were able to handle the situation. The server stepped between Arabelle and her attackers and told the family they needed to finish up their meal. Well, at least no one else heard Arabelle mutter as she walked by, “Fuck this fucking job! I made more money at Hooters!”
Abra’s eyes went wide and we both turned to our food being delivered before we got any more out of control. She sat in the chair next to me, instead of across from me, and we held hands while we ate, needing that contact.
“I didn’t realize you were left-handed,” I said, grinning at her.
She perked an eyebrow up at me. “Actually I’m ambidextrous. I can eat with both hands and write with both hands. I bat right and catch left.”
I froze with my fork halfway up to my mouth. “Softball?” I asked.
She shrugged. “Only after I started playing for school. I played Little League with the boys until high school, and then had to settle for softball. I wanted to have at least a few dates.”
I shook my head. What an enigma! Playing with the boys, playing with the girls. “I bet you took no prisoners. What position?”
“Pitcher. Shortstop. You?”
I grinned. “Pitcher. Shortstop. What a coincidence.” I brought her hand up to kiss it, and she smiled hesitantly.
“Yeah, I played outfield mostly in softball. I couldn’t quite get the hang of the pitch. Then I got sick of the girls. I didn’t fit.”
“How do you mean?”
Abra finished chewing slowly, taking a moment to respond. “It was a hard adjustment when the boys didn’t want to play with a girl anymore and started being dicks. And I didn’t want to talk boys all the time with my girlfriends. Tough time period, but definitely for someone like me, who didn’t fit for many reasons.”
“Did you, um, know, already, that you were bisexual? I mean, if you are okay talking about it. I don’t know if I’m out of line asking.” I hoped I didn’t sound offensive. I just wanted to know her, to understand her better.
She held up a finger and then wiped her mouth with a napkin.
“Of course you can ask me. I don’t know if it’s that exciting of a story. I hadn’t spent a whole lot of time around girls because I was always playing baseball with the guys, but I had my friend Sally and a few other girls. We used to have slumber parties at Sally’s house and they were a lot of fun. One of our friends, Trixie, was always the wild one, always wanted to play truth or dare or something like that. The other girls had all been kissed by boys at this point. Well, one night, everyone fell asleep except me and Trixie and she still wanted to play, so we played. And then weplayed.It was nice and she was fun, but I didn’t think anything of it. That went on for about a year or so every time we got together. I hadn’t really had the birds and bees talk much from Mom because, well, she’s my mom and had issues. I just thought we were having fun until I started to hear other girls talking about lesbians and dykes and I thought, ‘well, doesn’t everyone play like that?’”
She stopped and took a drink of her water and looked at me to see how I was taking in her story. I didn’t know why she thought it wasn’t interesting. I found her fascinating.
“So freshman year I finally met boys that weren’t my baseball friends and I started getting a little attention. I thought, ‘cool. Let’s see what it’s like to play with a boy.’ And then I met Ted. He was older, like college older, an artist, and very different from my baseball friends. He was-really STARTI-fun to play with and taught me a lot about sex, but it wasn’t the same. I still played with Trixie, I played with Ted, and I just thought it was no big deal. Then I was with Sally one night and it was just the two of us. Somehow the subject came up and I was telling her about Ted, and she was talking about her boyfriend, and I mentioned that having an orgasm with him was different than with a girl. She flipped the fuck out! She covered herself, called me a dyke, and told me to get out of her bed and sleep in the other room. Yeah. That sucked. That really sucked. It was kind of the end for her and me for many years. After that, I found the girls weren’t inviting me over anymore, even Trixie. I finally confronted her and she said she didn’t want anyone to find out. I thought I was so over what anyone thought, so I made new friends. Not the best friends I could have made, but I continued to have fun while I stayed on the honor roll. So that’s how little Abey knew she was bisexual. The end.”
She snorted out a laugh and took another bite of her dinner. I was blown away. She’d spoken really fast at the end, trying to get the rest of, what was undoubtedly uncomfortable, out quickly.I was really aware of her body language. She’d sort of rolled her shoulders in and made herself even smaller, if that was possible, in her chair, letting her hair sort of fall in her face and swallow her up.
I grabbed her chair and turned her around to face me. Startled, she let out a little squeal. I put my hands on her thighs and scooted closer.
“Thank you for telling me, doll. I didn’t think it was possible to admire you more. I just...wow. Thank you. I know that wasn’t easy to talk about.”
She shrugged. “I’m just me. I did the best I could with what I had. I grew up without a father and that makes girls vulnerable.I was incredibly lucky I never had any bad experiences considering the crazy fucking situations I put myself in. I never got hurt. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I had some really bad shit go down in relationships.”
“Really bad?” I wanted to dig a little, hoping it would give me some sort of understanding about what had happened earlier.
“Yeah. Verbal abuse, cheating, physical…” She trailed off and pushed her hair out of her face. “Bad shit. Let’s leave it at that.”
But I wanted to know more. I felt like I was about to learn something andboom.Shut down again. I wondered what it would take for me to get her to open up. Acting like a cop and drilling her wasn’t the answer.
She finally raised an eyebrow at me. “Since you got me talking, what’s your story? When did you decide you were straight?”
Man, could she catch me off guard. I almost shot tea out my nose, which made her crack up.
“Um, I guess I just put two and two together: girls equaled boners. Simple as that. Guys, not so much. I’ve never been afraid, or like homophobic or anything. I never had a guy really hit on me until college, and it was a little weird, I guess, but not traumatic or anything. I was doing some modeling, fundraiser calendars for campus organizations. Anyway, we were a mixed bag of athletic department guys and some pretty guys.”
