Page 62 of Road Trip
“I get it, dawg. I live here. My whole fucking family lives here. You don’t think that makes things complicated? Maybe it’s time you were down withla gente, homie.”
Living in the town you work was a tough choice for cops. I understood both sides of the issue, and maybe he was right. How could I hope to understand the population I lived with if I kept them at arm’s length?
“You have a point. I’m willing to do what it takes. I just hope that’s enough.”
“You deserve to be happy, Graham. Just don’t shut down. Ain’t healthy.” Lt. Reynolds was a great woman to have at your back, an even greater lieutenant.
“Yeah,” Manny scoffed, rolling his eyes at all the warm fuzzy in the room. “I hope this chick knows what she’s getting herself into with Mr. Excitement over here. You’ll probably take her out for a milkshake at a diner or some shit like that. Maybe share straws. Man, you are so vanilla, you wouldn’t even have chocolate!”
I let them both laugh. I could feel the involuntary smile growing on my face. Unfortunately, Reynolds picked up on it.
“Something tells me our little Kelly isn’t so vanilla. Seriously, though. Be careful. Especially when you bring her back home. You’re not out of the woods with this shit, not unless we get this guy to talk and name his associates. Our gang task force will probably have some ideas. But, Graham, I want to meet this woman before you get hitched, so that means no Vegas wedding, got it? That’s an order.”
I loved how she tried to mother me. At least she was a little less likely to freak out than my own mother when she met Abra.
“All right. Am I free to go? When do you want me back?”
Lt. Reynolds looked at me in her serious way, and Ramirez immediately picked up on it.
“I’m out. Graham, see you soon, bro.”
We shook hands, and I waited to hear my fate.
“With all that’s going on, the fact that this douche was involved not only with your assault, but also with the trial, I think I need to keep you off the streets for a while. I still want you to take some time off, but when you get back, you’re going to be riding a desk until we get this figured out and I know you are safe. I’ve already been in touch with Livermore P.D. since you mentioned there was possibly someone by your house. I don’t like this, Kelly. I don’t like it at all. You are one of my best officers and you’ve landed in a pile of shit that I don’t think is going to wash out right away.”
I couldn’t say I was upset about the desk gig. It might give me some regularity and some time to think about things.
“I want you to see the department shrink today. I already made an appointment for you. Check in with me before you leave. But for real? Let us handle it, all right? I don’t want you digging around. If we’re going to make a case against this guy, we need to do this the right way. You’re on another week of paid leave, and then we’ll get you on a desk. Any preference?”
My ultimate goal of police work had been to make detective. I thought now might be a good time to get some experience. “Youth and Family Services or Domestic Violence would be great, ma’am, but I’ll go wherever you need me.”
She nodded and gave me an appraising once-over.
“I’ll see what I can do. I’ll be in touch. See the shrink today and at least once more before you come back. And watch your back.”
I called my parents and grandparents on the walk over and just let them know briefly that I’d come back to deal with work stuff and was leaving again. I didn’t give my mother a chance to talk, otherwise I’d never get done what I needed to. Grandpa assured me everything was fine at the ranch, and that he had his shotgun loaded just in case. Good old Grandpa. I tried to call Katie, but she didn’t answer her phone. I just left her a message and told her I’d call her tomorrow, feeling a little unsettled.
The shrink was located in the courthouse building across the parking lot. I’d met her before as she had done some consulting on the case I had just testified at. I wasn’t lying to Abra when I described her. She was an older woman, maybe in her fifties, with long gray hair she had up in a severe bun. She wore a cream turtleneck and black slacks. Her eyeglasses hung suspended from a chain around her neck. She greeted me warmly as I entered.
“Welcome, Officer Graham. Can I get you some coffee?”
“No, thank you, ma’am. I’m fine.”
She smiled at me. Her office looked more like a library. I sat in a leather armchair across from her, and she waited for me to speak.
“So I know I have to talk about the assault. Did my lieutenant tell you anything else?”
“She mentioned you’ve had some issues this past week. You can start wherever you like, and you can share with me, or not share with me, whatever you like.” She smiled serenely, and I felt at ease to talk to her.
I laid out my whole tale, and she listened intently.
“The bottom line is that I was attacked for doing my job. Those people who attacked me wanted me dead for putting thieves in jail. Am I going to have to be afraid of retaliation indefinitely? Do I even want to continue putting myself in this position? To lose my life for trying to do the right thing? I’ve worked so hard to try to make a difference. I resent it! And after how I reacted to that kid at Pacific Playland? I don’t know if I could go back on the streets in my current state of mind and not turn into one of those officers who use excessive force. I need to really think about this hard.”
The therapist regarded me with a sad smile. I wondered just how many officers I knew had told her something very similar. Or whether they even cared enough to examine how they felt about it.
“And this woman, Abra?” she asked finally. “She cared for you after your injury?”
My heart skipped a beat hearing her say Abra’s name. I couldn’t help it. My lips split into a huge grin.
