Page 88 of Road Trip
“Hey, Mom? What are you—”
The bread box was open and empty. The loaf of bread that was in there was on the floor. Alarmed, I hurried to her side.
“Mom? What happened?”
“I needed my medicine. That man moved my pills. I need my medicine.”
I searched the counter, the cabinet. Kelly came in fully dressed and he immediately noticed the bread. Frantic, I pulled him out in the hall.
“What happened? Did you tell her where the pills were?”
He put his hands on my arms and shook his head.
“No, of course not. She came back to the kitchen unexpectedly and saw me getting them out. I moved them to a cabinet she couldn’t reach. I’m sorry I forgot to tell you.”
I breathed a sigh of relief and let my head fall against his massive chest.
“You can’t forget that stuff with her. You just can’t.”
“I’m sorry, doll. I figured since I was going to be here this morning, I would tell you.”
He didn’t deserve my wrath. He’d done me a huge favor.
“I just panicked. She’s tried to overdose too many times to count. It’s so scary. I know she wants to be gone, but not on my watch, you know?”
“Do you think this is the best place for her?”
“I’m not ready to go there. Don’t even make me go there right now, Kelly, or I swear…”
His arms encased me and he lifted my chin with his finger. “You’re right. I’m so sorry. I should have told you. But you’re not on that watch alone anymore.”
The more he said it, the more I let myself believe it. We went back to the kitchen, and I could hear Mom’s shower on. Kelly reached up into the highest cabinet and pulled down the pills.
“Where do you want these?”
I thanked him and hid them in the drawer under the stove and beneath some trays. He smiled at me as I stood up. I heard my phone buzzing from the other room, so I hurried to grab it.
“Hi, Abra! Just wondered what time you need me?” Lila was very sweet. She and Gran had been friends longer than I had been alive, and I was grateful she would come over to help.
”As soon as you can make it. I want to be there while she’s in surgery. I don’t know. It would just make me feel better.”
Lila agreed and said she’d be here in twenty minutes. I hurried back to the kitchen to find Kelly throwing together omelets with something he obviously found in the fridge.
“I figured you’d need lots of protein this morning.”
I just wanted to kiss him. So I did.
Lila was right on time and was completely smitten with my farm boy. She shooed us out the door and said she’d take care of Mom as long as I needed her to. She was a widow like my gran and they stuck together. Kelly drove us in his grandfather’s truck to Eden Hospital and then we agreed he’d drop me and he’d run home for more clothes. He felt terrible leaving me for even a little while, but he couldn’t stand his smell any longer.
After texting Jilly for an update, I had nothing to do. That was not a good scenario for me. It meant I got to thinking, and when I got to thinking, I spiraled. It started with what if something happened to Gran in surgery, to what if she died and I had to take over Mom’s care? What if I couldn’t keep Mom safe and she got out of the house and got lost? Or worse, what if she found her pills? What if?
I took a few deep breaths and pushed myself off the seat so I could move around a little. I had no nails left, and I hated the way my hands looked like that. Kelly would probably hate them, too. He’d probably find me totally unattractive in this state. He’d probably turn around and leave and then I’d be all alone—
That was my bottom line. I was afraid of being utterly alone. As much as my mother drove me crazy, without her and Gran I’d have no family left. This was not where I imagined myself at thirty-two years old. At one point I thought I would just run away and never come back to this area, just set down roots somewhere else and live a normal life. When Papa died and left Gran to care for Mom, I knew I couldn’t do that. One would think with me being a counselor that I could handle this shit. Well, one would be wrong.
Then my thoughts traveled to the perilous ponderings of my promising relationship with my farm boy. Man, did he come through for me! But could I trust him to stick around when things got hairy? He seemed so insistent and sincere. Could I take that chance? Did I have a choice?
Kelly
