Page 96 of Road Trip
She shrugged and gestured for me to take the lead. I wasn’t sure what her silence was about, but I was hoping we could do some talking since last night had been a bust. I bought us water from one of the food trucks, and we found a place in the sun to sit down. I handed her the bottle, she said thanks, and we each took a few sips. I got the feeling she had something she wanted to say, so I tried to be patient.
“So I report back to work in a week. I was thinking about moving in permanently with my gran and Mom. Jilly’s getting really serious about Sarah, and I don’t want to be there if they are living together.” She seemed really down and tired. Her spunky energy was gone.
“I’ll help you, if you want. I’ve got the truck—”
“Kelly, how long are you planning to stay? The reason I ask is maybe you should think about where you’re going to live now that you’re back to work. I know you don’t like Hayward because of work.” What was she getting at?
“Are you asking me to leave?”
She shrugged her shoulders, which did nothing to make me feel better.
“I don’t know. I just figured you would be leaving once you went back to work. I guess I’m just waiting for you to leave.”
Ouch! I tried to take her hands and have her look at me.
“Abra? What’s going on?”
She blew out a breath and pulled her knees up to her chest, effectively shutting me out.
“I don’t know, Kelly. I’m just trying to figure out how I’m going to do all of this, work and take care of both of them. I’m tired.”
Jilly had warned me when I’d met her that first day at Bettina’s that Abra would get run down. She was there now. I rubbed her back between her shoulder blades. I’d been doing the cooking and some of the cleaning and laundry, but she was having to do the physical work with her grandmother, bathing her and dressing her, all that. It was exhausting just to watch her daily. All of the women in the house were exhausted, and I felt helpless to do any more than I was doing.
“Maybe it’s time to look into some in-home assistance? You’ve been doing so much, doll. It’s no wonder you’re exhausted.”
She let her head fall down on her arms. “Bring a stranger into this scenario? Nope. Gran wouldn’t have it. She’d try to do everything herself, even though she can’t. And Mom? She doesn’t take well to strangers, and honestly I can’t handle any more of her outbursts than normal.”
We sat for a while, her eventually pulling her shoulders away from me. I tried not to react. I wanted to hear what she had to say.
“You’ve been such a big help, Kelly, and I appreciate it. I’m just waiting for you to leave. I’m afraid. I don’t like how dependent I’ve become on you. I think you should go before I can’t do it on my own.”
“Abra, I don’t want to leave you. I hadn’t even thought of leaving. It hadn’t even occurred to me that I was living in Hayward, to be honest. I don’t care about all that when I’m with you. Hey,” I said, tugging on her hands a little. It was always easier to tell how she was feeling if I could feel her touch. She was limp as a wet noodle.
“I don’t like this, Kelly. I’m not myself. I can’t give anything to you. This is exactly why I didn’t want to fall in love with you. All I have to offer you is this,” she said, gesturing to herself.
I took a good look at the woman I was so in love with. With my work schedule, all I’d really seen of her this past week was some cuddling in bed at night. We barely even talked.I didn’t want to share much of my depressing day, and she didn’t want to run through everything again. She’d lost weight, she had circles under her eyes…she was a mess.
“Come here,” I pleaded, pulling her onto my lap.
She didn’t exactly curl into me like usual, she just sort of slumped. I kissed her hair, praying she didn’t keep pushing me away. I felt her body start to shake a little, telltale signs she was crying. I held her to me, rubbed her back, and just tried to soothe her.
“You know that whole thing I do when I’m up in my head thinking about stuff? When you tease me about the gears grinding?” That had the desired effect. I heard her sniffle and snort.
“Yeah. You’re so serioussss.”
I smiled, hoping I was making progress. “Well, I’ve been thinking. What do you say we take a look at your gran’s benefits and your mom’s benefits and see what kind of services they have available? Their insurance might cover some care. The other thought I had was that my sister is a trained nurse’s assistant. She’s been through the program, did an internship at a convalescent home, and even worked there for a bit before she moved in with her boyfriend. He let her stop working so she could go back to school, but she quit because math was driving her crazy. What if I hired her to come in and help you while you’re at work? She’s not doing anything right now. It would be good for her to get to work.”
Abra was quiet. She blew out a shaky breath. “You think she’d be up for something like that? I mean, is she okay?”
“Yeah, she’s fine. She’s better when she’s busy, though. That’s for sure. She got glowing reviews when she was working. They hated to let her go.”
“I can’t have you paying your sister for my family’s care, Kelly. That’s not right.”
It was my turn to snort. “Uh, what do you think I’m doing right now? I’m paying her bills for her to sit on the darn couch! Yeah, she’s working at the ranch, but she’s just extra hands, she’s not a necessity to the operation. It’s time for her to get herself moving or she’s going to be right back in a bad place. She’s always better when she’s working. She said her therapy is going really well and she’s feeling better anyway. She can come stay while you are at work, do the heavy lifting, and when you come home, you can visit with them and get some rest as well. I’m enjoying cooking for more than myself.”
“And you’re really good at it, too,” she said, her hand finally coming up and touching my chest.
I breathed a sigh of relief that I was finally getting through to her.
