Page 35 of Sundowners
He shifted once more, bringing our pelvises into contact.
“What if I’m asking because I genuinely want to get to know you,andI’m interested in hooking up?” I couldn’t help the cocky grin that covered for my uncertainty. WhatdidI want with him? And did he want me too?
“That’s my favorite of the possibilities. Okay, Professor. I’ve lived a lot of places, traveled around for a long time, and I want to stay here. In Santa Cruz, at Puesta Del Sol. I love the residents, love my coworkers, and I don’t want to do anything to interfere with that, including but not limited to having a disastrous fling with a resident’s grandson. So while I’m into you, I’m not interested in a random hookup.”
I sucked in a breath at his admission. “You never cease to throw me off with your statements.”
“How’s that?”
This face-to-face discussion was a little too…close. I needed to keep moving. I tugged his hand and started walking again, hoping he’d get the clue.
The sky was awash with pinks and purples and silvery blue, as though an artist had squeezed the colors out onto a palette and ran his fingers through them in big swirls. It was hard to believe it hadn’t been created on purpose, that it had just sort of happened that way.
“You come on strong, and just when I think I’ll call your bluff, you take a step back.”
11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Creed
He read me so well.
“Maybe I’m testing you. I’m sorry, Roman, but I’m very careful about letting people get close to me. There’s a reason why bullying is such a trigger for me. I believe you mean well, but at some point I became invested in whether or not you would be like the others, or if you’d be different.”
“I’m a good listener, or so I’ve been told,” Roman said. “You’ve been there for me. Maybe let me return the favor?”
I shoved my hands in my pockets to keep from touching him and shrugged. Either he’d trust me or not, and that would tell me a lot about him.
I sighed and plopped down in the sand. “This okay?”
“Yeah, sure.” He lowered himself down beside me and we sat with our knees up, toes dug into the cool sand, watching the waves embattle the shore relentlessly, as if it was their mission to keep something down. To drown it. That made me wonder about his accident.
“Did you lose consciousness when you had your accident?”
Roman nodded, his face hidden by shadows now, even though he sat inches away. “Thankfully a beachgoer knew CPR or I might not be here talking to you.”
And what a travesty that would be. To never have been in Roman’s orbit? Never have felt his unique energy signature that I felt under my skin hours after being in his presence. I was so drawn to him. We sat side by side and I couldn’t help but press my shoulder against his. I craved all the heady emotions coming off of him, the fear, the anger, the anguish, and repeat.
“You were fortunate, no doubt about that. And now you’re here, ready for me to seduce you?”
He wrinkled his nose at me and laughed, leaning away just a bit. “Always with the push and pull.”
“Mmm. Like the ocean. Do you still surf?”
He sighed. “I thought you were going to tell me about you.” He rubbed his hands together and fell quiet, his gaze intensely directed toward the water.
“Okay, fine. I’ll give you a little peek.” I leaned back on my hands and rolled my head on my neck. I caught sight of the spiritualists at the other end of the beach, arriving with the evening tide for their session of meditation. “Part of what I love about my job is being around families like yours. Sure, not all of the residents have tight-knit clans, but the ones that do…it does a lot. Gives me hope, you know? I didn’t have that.”
It shouldn’t hurt this much to talk about it after all these years. Well, wasn’t that nice, to think I could control how I felt. I might be able to keep a lot of my emotions in check, but not all.
“What was your family like?” he asked me. He’d turned his head toward me and rested his chin on his arms. I lost my focus tracing the curve of his biceps with my eyes, wishing I could take a more hands-on approach.
I let out a big breath and groaned, which made him laugh.
“That bad, huh?”
“Old news is more like it. Put it this way, I left home like I had the hounds of hell chasing me the minute I turned eighteen.” I’d been sure to take care of everything. Applied for conscientious objector status, which I got because of my work for the church…the church I hated with all of my essence. As soon as my draft card came, I was out of there. Worked out my thumb hitchhiking cross country, San Francisco in my sights. Peace and love, baby. That’s what I was after. I was going to change the world, or at least get laid trying.
