Page 64 of Sundowners
“Oh, fuck, Creed, I want…”
I moaned as he pulled my hips into his and he ground against me. I gasped as he pulled away from my kiss and worked the column of my throat with his tongue and his teeth, the pressure against my groin punishing.
“I want to fuck you right here, Creed, you make me so goddamn crazy.”
I wrapped my arms around him and held him still, wishing I could let him do what he most desired, knowing I’d love it too.
“But you don’t want me to lose my job, do you?” I went with the simplest reason why I couldn’t let him fuck me in a dark hallway not quite out of sight at my workplace, despite the fact that I wanted exactly that.
“Fuck,” he said, biting my neck one last time. Harder this time. His chest heaved with his attempts to calm down, and he reached a hand into his pants to adjust himself. “What the fuck? What is it you do to me, Creed? I’m not like this. I’mnot.”
“I’m certainly not complaining,” I said, “except for the fact that we can’t continue on this course right now. But I owe you information—”
“I have things to tell you, too,” he said, pushing his hair out of his face. “I wanted to update you on the case. There’s a warrant out for the four men, we ID’d them, and I got information from a person involved in the case that I think is going to help—”
“Roman.” I placed my hands on the sides of his face. “You need to let your aunt and uncle handle this. You need to stay away from these people.”
He put his hands on top of mine. “See, Iknewyou knew something else. What do you know, Creed? How are you involved? I can protect you.”
“No, you can’t. And I’m not involved with them, I swear. You’re going to have to trust me.”
Roman pulled away. “Creed, if you know anything that can help us find them—”
“If I did, I swear, I would tell your aunt or uncle.”
His scowl made my hair stand on end.“But not me.”
I sighed. “Roman, I don’t want you to get hurt. These people are dangerous.”
“Right, and I can’t take care of myself. You know, I’m sick of hearing that. I get it enough from my family. I thought you respected me enough to give me credit for knowing what I can handle and what I can’t.” He turned away from me and swore under his breath.
“Roman, I’m sorry. I think you’re incredible…but this situation is not what you think, and I can’t have you getting hurt—”
“Yeah? Well, I can’t have my aunt and uncle getting hurt, or anyone else, because I’m not doing everything in my power to help. So I’ll ask you again, Creed. What do you know that can help us stop these guys?”
My heart pounded in my chest. This was a precipice that I created, that I allowed to form between us. I had the choice to step across and fall into a situation where I had no control of the outcome.
The safe choice would be to remain on my side, where at least I couldn’t make things worse.
“I’ve told you all I can, Roman. I’m sorry.”
He stiffened.“So that’s it? You’re just going to… You know what? Forget it. You’re not who I thought you were. If you don’t want to help, fine. See you around.”
His name was on the tip of my tongue. My lips yearned to call him back, to confess, to express how much I desperately wanted him, wanted to help, wanted the same things he did. But I fought the urge. I let him walk away.
Let him think I was less than. Let him think I wasn’t worth his time.
It was easier to let go that way.
I straightened my scrubs and went to the nearest bathroom to inspect the damage. I flicked on the light and ducked my head to splash cold water on my face, figuring at least it would cool the redness. I looked up…and gasped.
He’d bitten me so hard he’d left teeth marks.
I never left teeth marks when I drank.
That dichotomy made me burst out laughing, but it was hollow.
I never thought it was possible to be in love and to feel more alone than ever at the same time, but there you have it. My chance at love walked away from me, or I drove him away. Either way, it was time to get my head on straight.
