Page 59 of Feuds and Interludes
“You’re doing great,” I murmured. “So great. You’re going to be okay.” My words were calm but I was freaking out. This was too close. I thought to myself, what if he’d been alone? And then my chest cracked open.
Hewasalone.
Vera Jean’s relationship with my grandfather was absolutely perfect for them, and they deserved all the happiness, but Boone had isolated himself from everyone else, including, to an extent, his bandmates, who had no idea how sick he was. If he moved out of Vera Jean’s, he would be on his own whenever they weren’t on tour. I know he was determined to do this all by himself and not let the world know, butIknew, and I would not abandon him. I would stand by him, take care of him if he insisted on pretending he had it all under control.
Iwantedto take care of him.
“I’m sorry, Shane?—”
“Don’t ever apologize to me for being sick,” I said in the calmest voice I could muster. “But you let me in, so whether youlike it or not, I’m going to take care of you, Boone. You’re not going to go through this on your own, okay? Don’t even try to be stubborn about it, because I’m more stubborn than you.”
He chuckled against my chest. “You are pretty stubborn.”
“Damn right, I am. I take care of what’s mine, remember? And you’re mine. Iwantyou to be mine.”
He finally looked up at me, and my previous conversation with Lydia came back to me. Those eyes. I had no clue whether or not he’d ever had therapy to deal with the trauma from his childhood, but there was no doubt that the scared little boy who’d watched his mother die, who’d spent hours with her afterward, alone…he was still in there. And he’d had the rug pulled out from under him just now, sorta like I had the day before, although my situation was a lot less traumatic. I was going to be fine. I was going to make sure Boone would be fine too.
“I hate that you’re seeing me like this,” he said, reaching for a paper towel to dry his face. “Once upon a time, I could handle my shit.”
“You still can,” I said. “Taking care of you doesn’t mean doing it all for you. You’ll lean on me when you need to, and together we can figure out how to get you stable. Diabetes is hard to manage, especially by yourself. Lean on me, Boone. Let me take care of you.”
“Goddammit, Butler,” he said. “This would all be so much easier if you still hated me.”
“But I don’t. I never did. And it’s not going to be easy, especially since those two out there are trying to age us before our time.”
I knew that would get a laugh from him. “I found a gray hair! The morning after their date. Can you believe it?”
I shrugged and deadpanned, “I wouldn’t know about that.”
That was what he needed to let go. He threw his arms around my neck and held on tight as he took several deep breaths.
“I don’t know how this happened, but thank God for you, Shane.”
“Well, don’t thank Him yet,” I said, pulling away from him. “We still have to get through this dinner. I might clobber Pops with a damn mozzarella stick if he keeps making eyes at your gran.”
“Seriously, how are we the adults?”
“I don’t know. I am pretty mature, though.”
“Right,” he said with a snort. “You’re the eldest.” His smile slipped. “I feel like there have been a lot of bombs at that table already tonight. Maybe we don’t tell them about us yet. And please don’t take that as anything other than my messy ass can’t handle any more drama tonight.”
“You know I like you messy. Don’t worry about it.”
“You’ll still call me babe?”
I kissed him once, just enough to take him out of his head and hopefully get us through the rest of this meal. “You ready to do this, babe?”
He smiled—not that face-breaking fake one he’d had plastered on—and took a deep breath.
“I am now.”
When we made it back to the table, the hors d’oeuvres had arrived and our grandparents looked admonished. We took our seats, and I hated that I couldn’t sit beside him without making a big fuss.
“Did the server find you?” Vera Jean asked, and she gave Boone a pointed look. It was obvious that she was trying to help him save face.
“He did, thank you.” And then he turned to Bruce. “I’m newly diabetic, and I’m having trouble getting my sugars managed.”
So fucking brave. I couldn’t believe he’d just admitted that to the man he said he worried didn’t like him. It was a rare moment that Boone allowed himself to appear vulnerable, and I knew how difficult it had to have been for him to make that admission.
