Page 62 of Feuds and Interludes
Okay, not everything. I loved being with Shane, even when things were falling down around me. My fucking Gran had a new honey, and though I was mature enough to know she still loved me and that I should give her the space to enjoy herself, I was kind of in shock about how quickly she’d jumped into this.
Though I was asked from time to time about my parents and everything that happened when I was a kid, I never allowed myself to go there. I had a prepared statement, one Vera Jean coached me on as a child.
“My parents had their issues. I’m grateful I had my grandparents to take care of me.”I refused to answer questions about what I remembered. I did remember. I remembered every second from the moment I found my mother on the floor in the bathroom to the moment the fire department broke down the door. I remembered holding Mommy’s hand in the dark thinking at least this time she wasn’t crying, or bleeding, as she would be after fights with my father. She’d been so still though. So cold.
So no, I didn’t ever speak about that experience, but it was always lurking close to the surface of my consciousness. It haunted me in my sleep. It drove me to work so hard using the talent I’d been born with to become a master at my craft so people couldn’t ignore me, perform sowellthat people wouldn’t leave.
I needed to get past the feeling that being with Bruce meant my Gran was leaving me. I didn’t doubt Bruce was head overheels for my Gran, and I knew he would do his best to take care of her, so my discomfort was really my own. I’d become too dependent on her, and it was time I took care of myself.
Which had me worrying about Shane. I had to be careful not to put too much on him. He had his own issues, and I didn’t want this blossoming relationship to get marred by codependent behavior.
Listen to me and my big words. Okay, really I wanted to spend every night in his arms and let him take care of me. He was so good at it. Who’d a thunk?
We were in a bubble up here, though. We both had careers to worry about, and his was at a major crossroads.
I could only control so much, so right now, I was going to go down and meet my bandmates and tell them the truth. And eat, so last night didn’t happen again.
Before I hopped in the shower, I checked my phone and found a lengthy text from Gran.
Dear Boy, I know last night was hard for you in many ways. I hope you are feeling better this morning. It was kind of Shane to take care of you. I’m glad the two of you seem to be getting along better. I love you very much.
P.S. Love bites are tough to cover up. I never found a good concealer that would work. Perhaps a nice scarf next time?
I burst out laughing as my eyes filled with tears. Despite the radical changes in my life, she would still be there to impart her wisdom, and how like her to not embarrass me but to let me know she cared, and that I hadn’t gotten one past her.
I’ll keep that in mind.
Her response came a moment later.
May I assume it was Shane?
Of course she’d know. I was so moony-eyed around him.
You were right. He’s a good one.
I barked out a laugh at her response.
Of course I was right. He comes from good stock. Take care of each other.
I knew she’d be happy for me. I owed it to her to be the same.
I found Annie and Bran sitting in the mess hall, heads bobbing together as they watched a video on Annie’s phone.
“Boone! You gotta see this. It’s video of Blinding Light playing at Rocktoberfest last year. We’ve been doing our research. Come sit.”
“Yeah,” Brandon said. “We’re already making a schedule of who we want to see! Friday is F-Holes and Flightless, and Warrior Black is playing. This is going to be so rad.”
“Let me grab food,” I said, my heart pounding. God, I didn’t want to tell them. We had the perfect thing going. We were best friends. We got along great. Would they start treating me different? Ugh, I hated this.
“Morning, Boone,” Felix said as I approached the counter. “What can I get you? We’ve got waffles, and I made some pastries?—”
Chin and chest up and out, motherfucker. “Whatever would be good for a Type 2 diabetic who’s trying to get his blood sugar under control.” I gave him a smile that didn’t quite make it to my whole face.
“Oh, shit, Boone. I had no idea.”
“Yeah, because I haven’t told people yet. But I’d love some help.”
“Sure, sure. No problem. Okay, let’s get you some eggs…how do you like them? Right, you like them fried. And here’s some fruit, and do you want some sausage? This should give you some good energy to keep you going today.”
