Page 75 of Feuds and Interludes
Boone chuckled. “How do you make light of things when everything feels so heavy?”
I turned him to face me. “Because when I’m with you, I feel like I can handle anything. Like, it’s all going to be okay somehow.”
“Thenbewith me. Say we can figure this all out, because right now? I don’t want to be out of your sight. I know we’ll have to be…eventually.”
“Yeah, sure. When you guys go on tour.”
“And you don’t.” He blinked up at me. “I want it all. I want Stellar, I want Butler Collins, and I don’t know how to make it all work.”
“We’ll figure it out,” I said, trying to reassure him, although I wasn’t sure who needed it more. Could I sit back while he was in the spotlight and not fester? “I want you to talk to the twins tomorrow and see what they say, without me there. This should be your decision as a band. Don’t make me the chick fromThis Is Spinal Tap.”
Boone burst out laughing. “Yeah if you come in with their star charts done, they’ll run you out of town.”
“I’ll try to keep that in mind. Now, get that ass up those stairs.” I smacked his right cheek hard enough to make him squeal, and he took off running.
“Come get it,” he called over his shoulder, which got me running after him. We were ridiculous. We were that sappy couple everyone makes fun of. We were in love, and damn it felt good.
We were out of breath when we got to my door. He reached around and unfastened my pants while I was trying to get the key in the lock.
“I want you to fuck me in that window seat,” he said, and his words went straight to my dick.
“You don’t care if we’re seen?”
“Let them be entertained,” he said as I got the door open and he pushed me inside. Within minutes, we were naked, and he knelt beside me on the window seat, in full view for anyone out front of the lodge at midnight. I worked him open with my fingers as I sucked on his neck.
“Those were almost healed,” he said, but his sigh was less annoyed and more desperate.
“I know,” I said, nibbling on the tendons that attached to his collarbones. “Time for new ones.”
“Oh, God, Shane. Give me that dick.”
He straddled me and lowered himself slowly until he was fully seated, his knees on either side of my hips on the window seat cushions.
“Take what you need, babe. You’re so fucking gorgeous like this.” I leaned back, supported his hips with my hands, and then watched as he got himself off, coating my stomach and chest. It was a damn beautiful sight. I slowed him down, sat up and wrapped my arms around him, thrust into him twice, three times, and when I came it was from the depths of my fucking soul.
He did that. He made me reach down inside myself and feel things I’d shut off a long time ago. Whether I wanted to feel them again or not, he brought it out of me.
When I stopped moving, he started to stand up.
“Please, wait.” I looked up into his face and brushed his hair back. “I love you,” I whispered. “I mean it, Boone, and it fucking scares me.”
He smiled at me and ran his thumbs over my cheekbones before kissing me. “You won’t be sorry. I’ll earn it, I swear.”
We showered together and then crawled into bed. We were quiet, though, and I couldn’t help it when my thoughts began to spin out. If life wanted to teach me a lesson about letting go of my need to control, this was definitely the way.
The next morning I woke up feeling raw, like every nerve was exposed. I groaned and rolled over to find Boone gone. I figured he was talking with his band and that didn’t help what was shaping up to be a foul mood.
It doesn’t do any good to second-guess yourself. You laid it all out there, Butler.
I growled and rolled over, pulling Boone’s pillow over my face. The minute I got a whiff of his…what did he call it…some fucking candy mixture that made my goddamned mouth water and my dick hard, I calmed down a little.
I’d have to trust Boone. It was as simple as that. He had my fucking heart in his hands. What else could I do?
At this very minute, I could get up and write about how my feelings were at war, how my fucking insecurities had me doubting myself, doubting him, doubting everything, and how I wanted to rage against the helplessness of it all.
The only paper I could find was in Boone’s notebook. It was pretty banged up and I was sure he’d probably used most of it, but I flipped it open to get to the last few pages…and my curiosity got the best of me.
At the top of a page in the middle were the words “Feuds and Interludes.”
