Page 108 of Everything's Better With You
“This is what my nutritionist said I should be drinking first thing in the morning. I’m on a new eating regimen to help with my migraines.”
Joe lowered the glass and put a hand over Leslie’s. “I’m so glad. I wanted to bring it up, that food changes could really help, but I didn’t want to be that douche.”
Leslie laughed and Joe’s eyes caught on the freckled skin of his chest peeking out from between the two sides of his unbuttoned dress shirt. He took a good long look at Leslie Payton lounging on the beach in a gorgeous black suit made from material as soft as butter, the same material as his.
“Did we get married last night?”
Leslie burst out laughing again. “Not that I recall.” He took Joe’s drink from him and pulled him into his arms for a long, lingering kiss.
Joe tangled their legs together and moaned. He yanked at Leslie’s shirt until it was untucked and he could get access to Leslie’s skin. He needed to be sure this was real. Joe scratched his nails down Leslie’s torso and Les arched into him and groaned.
“Joe,” Leslie sighed as Joe kissed his neck. Joe had learned early on that Leslie was like putty in his hands when he went to work on his neck. “Joe, can we…I want to tell you, I want a chance to explain.”
Joe pulled back and reluctantly let go. He sat up straight with his legs crisscrossed. It was time to be grown up.
“I have things to say too.”
Leslie pushed himself up to sitting and he raised the back of the chair. He stretched his legs out and stared at the ocean.
“When my father died, the autopsy showed that the multitude of concussions he’d received throughout his career had done irreparable damage. Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy they call it, do you know what that is?”
Joe nodded. “I read theRolling Stonearticle when it came out. I’m so sorry.”
“The death certificate said complications from CTE. It made him a violent, confused, and terrified man at the end of his life. When I retired from the NFL, it was because I’d had a concussion, probably I’ve hadfive or six significant ones in my life, and I started having the migraines. My personal physician strongly encouraged me to retire, especially after what happened to my father, so I did. I probably could have had a few more years to play, but it wasn’t worth it. My family was grateful. They’d been watching me and they let me know they had concerns. I’d been forgetting things a little, I couldn’t seem to keep track of appointments, I forgot my mom’s birthday. How much was stress, how much was my brain injuries, I don’t know. So I retired.”
Joe reached out and took Leslie’s hand. He’d always wondered why Leslie had stepped away from the sport he loved. They had only just started to share personal information at that point in their unconventional friendship.
“And then the migraines got worse. I had a bunch of tests run, tried some different medications, but it made things very difficult while I was coaching at UKC. Sandy helped me as much as he could, came up with the voice memo reminders system on my phone, which became the twins’ second business. It was the first app they created and it made them a million bucks when they sold it. Sandy nominated himself as my personal assistant and thank God he did. You can thank him for a lot of the little things I did for you over the years. They were my ideas, but he helped make them a reality when I couldn’t.”
Joe laughed. “Does that mean I am really dating your brother?”
Leslie rolled his eyes. “Stop it. You know better.”
Joe smiled, but it faded.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Leslie? Me, of all people. I thought…How could you think I wouldn’t understand?”
“Because I was afraid—am afraid—I’ll be like my father. The doctors are confident there are things we can do to help, but I wanted time with you before I lost my fucking mind.”
Joe raised his eyebrows. “How was that going to work, exactly? One day you’d wake up and forget something and I’d be like ‘I’m out of here’? Leslie—”
“I don’t know,” he laughed but it was hollow. “I don’t ever want you to have to take care of me, but I guess I wasn’t thinking you might actually want to stay.”
Joe looked at their joined hands. “You wanted me with you, wanteda future together, but you weren’t thinking ‘til death do us part,’ huh?” Leslie started to protest, but Joe held up his hand. “I get it, I do. And I never gave you a reason to think I was in it for the long haul. But I am, Leslie. I don’t know how to make you see that. I have to travel for work sometimes, but I’m always going to be yours. I have to know that you’ll trust me to come back.” He swallowed hard. “Otherwise, I don’t know why you brought me here. If you don’t trust me, Leslie, then we need to walk away.”
Thirty
Leslie
The only thing keeping Leslie grounded was that Joe hadn’t let go of his hand.
“And all this stuff about your father, and your potential future? You didn’t even give me a chance to decide. Did I ever tell you about when my mom went on hospice?”
Leslie shook his head. “I know you went to her and it didn’t go well.”
“She sent me away, said she didn’t want me to take care of her, wanted her boyfriend du jour to take care of her. Said it was more than a young man like me could handle and that she wanted me to remember her young and beautiful. I fought, hell, I even talked to a lawyer. But there was nothing I could do. When I’d go, her boyfriend would let me in for like thirty-minute visits and then he’d tell me to leave. Clint. I told you about him?” Leslie shook his head. “Oh, yeah, he was a football player too. Braggedabout how he played for the Patriots, but I looked him up. He was called up but didn’t make the cut. Never played in a regular season game. He was a bouncer at my mom’s favorite bar. He liked to ‘wrestle’ with me, you know? Thought he was funny. He’d pin me down and laugh when I fought to get free.”
Leslie growled.
