Page 31 of Everything's Better With You
“Yeah, no way we’re getting showed up by a bunch of—”
“Don’t finish that thought,” Randy said, stepping forward. “You have no fucking clue what those athletes are capable of.”
“And whoever wins gets bragging rights and dibs on Spring Fling.”
That got a lot of attention. Leslie was glad to see that the kids still cared about the event as much as they had when he was a student. It was considered the best weekend of the year and everyone participated.
There were snickers and a few outright laughs. That gave Leslie had an idea.
“If y’all need a reminder of how hard cheerleaders work, then perhaps we’ll have to have some combo training sessions. What do you think, Brother Randy?”
“I think that’s a splendid idea, Brother Leslie.”
The snickering stopped.
Another reason to work closely with Joe. Another competition.
This could be fun.
“Today’s practice is going to be administrative tasks. Forms, uniforms, etc. Tomorrow, we run, and every day after that. Coach Randy or Coach Sandy will sign you up for morning or evening runs. And like I said, be ready to be flexible. We have no field at the moment, so stay tuned for the location of our first game. Any questions?”
Leslie dismissed them, feeling like he should have given more of a pep talk or done something inspirational. But then he realized this wasn’t a football movie and he wasn’t expected to be Denzel Washington or Jim Caviezel. He figured the tornado had them all shook up, though, as there wasn’t a whole lot of reaction from them.
“That went pretty well,” Sandy said. “Not too many complaints.”
“Listen, I want the two of you to promise me something.”
The twins’ attempts to look serious were comical. They were capable of it, but sometimes it took a while before they settled down.
“What is it?”
“I appreciated that you said something about the cheerleaders, Randy, and I’m going to want you to continue. It’s about time we drill the toxic masculinity out of these boys. I ran a tight ship at UKC when I was there, but we still had a couple of instances of sexual assault and I’m tired of the sport I love being associated with that shit. So we’re going to do our part to get through to this team that not only do we expect them to be on their best behavior on the field, but off the field as well. You hear them acting up, you put it down. You feel me?”
Sandy and Randy stood in the identical pose with legs spread shoulder-width, arms crossed over their chests, heads tilted at the same angle.
“Sure, boss,” Sandy said. “That’s easy. If you were going to tell me to stop calling soccer players drama queens, I don’t know…”
“I am telling you that if it has anything to do with who’s more manly, you cut that shit out.”
“All right, all right,” Sandy said, his hands raised. “I hear you.”
“And I guess when Joe finally comes over, we can’t ask him about his tights or anything—”
“Youespeciallycan’t say that shit to Joe.”
Leslie knew Joe had a few run-ins with football players and he’d had his fill of the jokes. He only put up with Leslie calling him Twinkle Toes because he knew how much respect Leslie had for him.
“What’s the deal with you two, anyway? I thought you’d be inseparable once he got here.”
Leslie had hoped as much. “It’s complicated, and now with this fundraising shit… That Jacob guy expects us to have a rivalry going, so I guess we’re going along with it.” Leslie’s shoulders slumped and he sighed. If there would have been a rock in front of him, he would have kicked it.
Sandy and Randy looked at each other and did that twin thing where they communicated without speaking.
“Come on, big guy,” Sandy said, patting him on the back. “Time to go have Mom’s cooking. You’ll feel better once Agnes gets ahold of you.”
Leslie smiled. He was hungry. But he had a feeling nothing would feel quite as good as being with Joe. And didn’t that suck?
Eleven
