Page 96 of Duke of Destruction
He struggled against the shame that threatened to bubble up at the admission. It helped that Catherine was looking at him, wide-eyed, not with judgment but with something that struck him as being marvelously akin to wonder.
“Youwerescared?” she asked. “But now…?”
He laughed again, this time because he had wanted to get to the end—but now that he was here, he was utterlyterrified.
“Now,” he said, “the only thing I’m afraid of is losing you. God, Catherine. I thought I had lost you. I was so afraid—I wasso damned afraid—that you would never wake up.”
More laughter because, damn it all, shewasalive, and even if she told him to go to hell, he could do so merrily, knowing that she wasalive. She would heal. She would recover.
And it was with this thought—that no matter what happened to him, he knew she was safe—that he told her the rest.
“I cannot hold any grudge against you—nor against those you whole dear. Oh, Catherine. My darling. I don’t want anything to be finished between us. I never wish to be parted from you. I can only fall on my knees and beg you to marry me because—my God, Catherine—how I love you.”
For a moment, the words hung between them. Percy, all terror and hope, didn’t even dare breathe. She stared at him, her eyes the most beautiful blue he had ever seen in his life.
And then Catherine Lightholder, the most proper woman in theton,burst into tears.
Catherine didn’t know why she was crying. She didn’t want to be crying. And she never cried like this—ragged and uncontrollable andnot in private.
But oh, God. Oh, God,Percy.
And Percy, bless him, reacted the way men have been reacting to womanly tears since time immemorial: he went into an utter state of panic.
“Oh, no. Oh, Catherine—or, Lady Catherine, if that’s what you want. Christ, fuck! I mean, sorry, please don’t cry. Oh Jesus Christ, your brother really is going to shoot me.”
It was this last bit that snapped Catherine into instant sobriety, her tears drying at once.
“What?” she croaked, her voice sounding wet and snotty and not at all pleasant.
Percy was on his feet now, hovering at her bedside, clearly desperate to do something and just as clearly uncertain what thatsomethingshould be.
“Nothing,” he said hastily. “He just—he asked about my feelings—but I needed to talk to you first. And then he said if I hurt you—but it doesn’t matter, I promise. I—” He swallowed, looking as though he was near tears himself. “I just want you to be happy. Whatever that means.”
And, drat it all, she was crying again.
“I am happy,” she said, completelyhorrifiedthat it came out like a wail. “Because I love you, too.”
Percy’s fluttering hands froze midair.
“You…do?” His voice was small, hope hiding in the center of it.
Catherine’s hands rose to her face to wipe away her tears, and then Percy’s hands were there, helping before he cupped her cheeks.
“I do,” she hiccupped. “I was so mad at you for making me fall in love with you.”
He pressed his forehead against hers, gently enough that it didn’t agitate any of her injuries, and the feeling of his skin against hers was too perfect.
“I understand that,” he said. “I was so mad atyoufor making me fall in love with you, and then mad at myself for being too stupid to see it for so long.”
“Percy,” she said. She brought her hand up to his cheek, mirroring his movements. He had enough stubble there to support her theory that he hadn’t left her side for a moment. “I am beginning to suspect that we are actually very alike.”
He was close enough that she felt his lips tip up into a smile. “If you had told me as much at that party at David’s, that very first night…”
“You would have hated me more than you already did?” she teased.
It was amazing, really, how good she felt all of a sudden. She could still feel the pain in her head (and her arm and her backand her bum), but it was as though none of thatmatteredany longer.
“Not at all,” he said, pulling back just enough that she could see the twinkle in his eye. “I would have thought, ‘Oh, poor Lady Catherine is clearly touched in the head. Perhaps I need to rescue her from her wretched relatives.’ It would have all been very gothic indeed.”
