Page 116 of Incubus
Walter appeared in front of him, benign as always to any state Nathan might be in. “I did not follow him when he left, Nathan, since I had tried to give you privacy before then. I’m afraid I…don’t think he has been back.”
Nathan’s stomach twisted in his gut. “Well…maybe he couldn’t sleep and…went to get coffee or something. Will you…see if you can find him anywhere outside?”
The parallel of the situation was not lost on Nathan. After Jim was taken, Nathan had calmly asked the same thing of Walter before it became clear that Jim was not coming back.
Since Sasha had taken Nathan’s T-shirt when he went out the night before, Nathan was left with only his jeans. He slipped them on to leave the room as Walter faded away.
It was easy at first to pretend nothing was wrong. Nathan retrieved fresh clothing from his bag out in the living room and ignored his brother’s teasing words about never having left Sasha’s room. But once Kitty and Schuester were also up, and Walter had returned without so much as a guess at where Sasha might be, Nathan had to admit…the incubus was gone.
“Nathan?”
It was snowing in the back lot behind Schuester's apartment building, soft fluffy flakes falling consistently. Nathan hadn’t noticed at first. He wasn’t wearing a jacket and he hadn’t noticed the temperature had dropped low enough to snow.
“Nathan, should we check around the block again?” Jim asked, trying to be helpful and supportive, but they had checked around the block three times now.
Nathan stared at their borrowed vehicle in the lot as if what was broken had anything to do with a car. Nathan was what was broken. He didn’t have the strength for this. Not again. “I let this happen. I let him go alone.”
“Nate, come on,” Jim said. “It’s not that simple. We just need to think this through. What did he say when he left, again?”
Nathan closed his eyes, feeling wet flakes catch in his eyelashes. “Nothing. He was just going for a walk.”
“But maybe he gave some clue about where he was heading? Anything we can use. Just go over what happened again.”
“I told you already.”
“We need more details than that, Nathan.”
“Well I don’t have any!” Nathan yelled, whirling around to face Jim with his fists clenched at his sides. “Wefucked, okay? We had sex. Forgive me if that's the part that sticks out in my mind. Then...we laid there for a minute, and then he left. That’s it. For all I know…maybe that’s the real reason he left.”
Jim’s eyes narrowed. “Maybe what’s the real reason he left? Because you slept together?”
“Why not? He got what he wanted finally. Why stick around?”
"Nathan," Jim said in admonishment. "You don’t believe that. Sasha really cares about you. And you care about him. Something happened. Someone…took him."
Part of Nathan would rather his bitter theory be true, because at least then Sasha would still be okay somewhere. He leaned back against the car behind him, breathing in deep to find some sense of calm.
"He really did say he just needed air,” Nathan said. “He had a lot of excess energy to burn after...feeding. He was so buzzed, he put onmyT-shirt and grabbedyourjacket you’d left in there. That’s how I know he has his cell, even if he won’t freaking answer it. The phone was still in your pocket.” Nathan scrubbed a hand over his face. He felt only half awake and wished he was sleeping, wished he was dreaming.
“He didn’t just leave, Nate,” Jim said. “He wouldn’t do that.”
Nathan couldn't believe Sasha would just walk away either. Or fly, or whatever Sasha might have done that would make him just suddenly gone. There had to be another answer. Nathan didn’t know what he really felt for Sasha, but he knew that whatever had been there was gone now and he ached to feel it again.
“I keep reaching for my phone,” Nathan said with a choked laugh, “thinking…justmaybe—”
The familiar notes of Nathan's ringtone rose up from his jeans and he froze. For a moment neither Nathan nor Jim moved at all, but as the phone continued to ring, Jim nudged Nathan to answer it, saying his name over and over until Nathan finally dug into his jean pocket and pulled out the phone.
‘Sasha’s cell’blinked at Nathan miraculously.
“Holy shit…”
“Nathan,” Jim said, the connotation of‘pick up the damn phone’clearly present.
So Nathan did, forcing himself to be calm despite the erratic pattern of his heartbeat. “Sasha?”
“Nathan...?”
“Dude, where are you?” Nathan took off into a frenzied ramble. “Are you trying to kill me sooner? What the hell happened? You don’t justleave."
