Page 125 of Incubus
“Nathan,willyouatleast look at me?” Jim said, moving to a chair beside the bed.
Sasha had made up an excuse to slip out and leave the brothers alone.
“I was scared, okay,” Jim went on. “And angry, and I know that’s no excuse for what I did, but—”
“You’re right, it’s no excuse,” Nathan said bitingly, his eyes snapping to Jim’s with a sharp edge. “I swear, if you ever try forcing my hand with your damn mind powers again…” He couldn’t quite think of the right threat, so he let the sentence hang. “I make my own choices, Jim, not you. I decide if there’s no other way,not you.”
“Nathan, I’m sorry,” Jim said without losing a step, his eyes as wet as Sasha’s had been earlier. “Suddenly being trapped like that…in adark faetrap, Nate.”
“I know.”
“How I killed Gabriel too…I keep thinking about it. How easy it was. How I didn’t even think, I just…” Jim clenched his eyes shut like he could make it all go away if he just didn’t look. “It’s all so easy. Too easy. Sometimes it scares me so much, I just want it all to stop, but I can’t. I keep needing my powers to save you."
“You idiot,” Nathan growled, leaning forward painfully and reaching over with his hand that was full of tubes to grab Jim’s arm and force those sad blue eyes to look at him. “Sasha got in that trap with you, remember? It doesn’t hold evil; it holds things with enough dark fae blood in them to trigger the spell, that’s all.”
“I know,” Jim said, even though he was shaking his head, “but it didn’t work on me before, only now. Why is it different now? The only explanation is the powers. Using them must…amplify my fae blood, just like Gabriel was saying.”
Hearing Jim say Gabriel's name forced Nathan to remember that the man who had chased them for so many years and who was now dead…was family. Their uncle.
He hoped Jim never found out.
Increasing the grip he had on Jim’s arm, Nathan squeezed tight enough to make his brother wince. “Do you think you’re the Antichrist? Is that it? Are you going to believe freaks like Gabriel just because you’re scared? To hell with Sasha being in the trap, think about what he said.Youmake the choice. If the opportunity comes and you choose evil willingly, if there really is no other way…I’ll kill you,” Nathan said evenly, though he didn't really believe his own words. “But damn it, Jim, I know you never would. It isn’t in you. So dark fae blood is. So crazy powers are too. So what? You’re still Jim. You’re stillJim,” he said again, gentler, his grip loosening and becoming more like comfort.
At least Jim was nodding, his eyes still wet but not crying, and when he looked, really finally looked into Nathan’s eyes, allNathan saw was his brother. “I want to believe that. I do. And if you’re right, Nate, if you're right...then I promise I won’t choose anything but you. I’m going to save you, Nathan. We're going to stop the fae holding that bounty over your head. Together. I’m sorry I was a selfish idiot, I am, but I promise you, no matter what happens, no matter what it takes, I swear...I’m going to save you."
"Jim," Nathan said, a little stunned at the raw emotion in his brother's voice, "I don’t think your powers have to be a bad thing, okay, but I want you to be careful. Don't overdo things on my account. Just because you’re two minutes older doesn’t mean you get to coddle me and make all these decisions on your own. Try and save me all you want, but you can’t stop me from saving you. You got me…Jesse James?”
The ghost of a smile caught the corners of Jim’s mouth. “Yeah, Nate, I got you," he said, and he crooked the pointer finger of his free hand into a playful BANG.
Nathan grinned, readily doing the same, and then mimed that being shot afterbeing shotmade his chest sore.
Jim laughed. Everything might have slipped into comfortable and easy too, but there was something heavy in the air, maybe because Walter hadn't yet vanished from his seat in the corner, looking on with concern.
“Hey, Jim,” Nathan said, “you don’t…remember anything from your time in the Veil yet, do you?”
“No, you know I don’t,” Jim said stiffly. “I’d tell you if I remembered anything.”
“Yeah, I know. Just checking.”
No matter what happens. No matter what it takes.
Nathan wasn't sure he wanted to know what that might mean.
Bylateafternoon,Jimand Sasha were slumped asleep in chairs around Nathan's bedside, and yet he was only barely drifting in and out, unsettled and unable to rest. He had enough drugs in his system to dull the pain in his chest. Gabriel was dead, the body taken care of. Nathan should have been as at peace as he had been in a long time. But sleep wouldn't come.
He was drifting in and out of faint dreams, trying to find something like real rest, when he started fully awake and nearly sat up straight in bed, aggravating the tender wounds on his chest. Nathan hissed, blinking around the now dark room. He rubbed his left hand unconsciously, the one with all the tubes, feeling the faint grooves of the scar he had created when he cut a divided circle into his palm and summoned a Messenger.
Nathan jumped as his gaze drifted to the window, surprised to see Jim awake too, peeking out through the blinds.
"Hey...you probably need as much sleep as I do, huh?" Nathan said quietly, since Sasha was still curled up in his chair. "Why don't you wake up the redhead and head back to Schuester's for a while? I'm not going anywhere for a couple days and you guys need some real rest. Those chairs can't be comfy."
Jim had his back to Nathan, his T-shirt looking rumpled like he had been sleeping in it for days, which was probably true. He lowered his hand from looking outside, but he didn't turn around.
"Hey," Nathan hissed a little louder. "You all in there, bro? Or half asleep?"
Still, Jim didn't turn.
"Jim," Nathan tried again. "Are you okay?"
