Page 37 of Untethered Heart
“Gen always speaks very highly of her. Dedicated. Kind. Eager. Nothing’s too hard or daunting for Alexis to try at least once. She spoke of her dreams to build the whiskey brand with herbrother when I interviewed her for the promotion a few months ago. It’s rare to see such humble tenacity in a younger person.”
The bad blood between James and me goes on nearly a decade. I’ve always welcomed our challenges, relishing in the fight, but right now, I hate that it feels like he has the upper hand. He knows Lex in a way I don’t.
“Anyway.” He tips his head, ice cubes clinking as he drains the glass in his hand. Like a rebel delighting in the carnage of his destruction, he licks his lips, pinning me with menacing eyes. “I look forward to the success of Smoke and Barrel. And I really look forward to seeing how your new whiskey business goes. I’ll be sure to keep up to date through Alexis.”
Dick.
Chapter twenty-one
I want to get out of bed and pull my thoughts from where they’ve been stuck spinning like a worn-out record, but at the same time, I can’t move.
Caleb is the investor for Legacy Malt. The person who is going to help build my and Dylan’s dream of expanding the distillery and tavern. To create something that honours and connects us with Dad.
When we saw each other again last night, I almost thought he was happy to see me. His expression was mostly unreadable, but if anything, it was like delight, not annoyed by the fact I was there, or worried that I might reveal our less-than-innocent history.
My mind raced in all sorts of different directions every time I caught his attention on me. Any time I would sneak a look at him, he was already watching me. For a brief moment, I thought he was going to flirt with me. Show me more of the Caleb I’ve been around before, the one who was so open with his words and desire. Until he asked if I knew he was the investor before that night, and he told me no one could know about us.
I understood.
Truly, I did. It would be bad for business if people knew we’d slept together. If that kind of thing got around, spread in thetabloids like his other one-night stands. What if people thought we only got the deal because of that? This means so much to my brother, and I won’t have my personal feelings change what we’ve been working towards for so long. It didn’t make it hurt any less, though.
I spent the night getting to know Beth and Isabelle. I’d already seen Beth briefly at The Wayside that one time. If she recognised me, she didn’t say anything. Isabelle is working on all the branding and marketing for Smoke and Barrel, and she’s going to be our go-to person for Legacy Malt as well.
The ease with which she interacted with Caleb when we first arrived made me sick to my stomach, but it slowly faded the more she joked around about working with him. I get the impression she’s one of those sunshine people who gets along with everyone she meets. It was a little odd how she kept saying how wonderful Caleb was, though. Telling me how nice a guy he is, a good boss, very trusting and reliable. I’m not sure if they have history, and she was trying to cover her tracks or if she was trying to help me find comfort in his presence. Especially after Caleb came over to talk to me. She and Beth kept talking with their eyebrows raised as if they were speaking in code. Dylan came and rescued me not long after that. He wanted to drive back to Killara Bay that night, so we didn’t stay long after going over the contracts and signing on the dotted line.
I finally give in to pulling myself out of bed when my hips start to ache from lying down for so long. With a groan, I throw back my sheets, rub my hands down my face, count to three and launch myself up. It’s still early, but when you’ve tossed and turned for six hours, enough’s enough.
I wash my face, tie my hair into a knot on my head, and pull on a blue sports bra and black Lycra shorts before heading out to the kitchen to make a coffee. When I walk into the lounge room, I’m surprised to find Claire sitting on the couch, sipping a coffee and staring out the back window. My foot steps on acreaky floorboard, making her look over her shoulder at me. Her eyes are full of doubt and vulnerability, a very different look than what I left her with last night.
“Yoga?” I ask.
She nods, drains her mug and heads towards her room to change, squeezing my hand when she passes me. I make an iced oat latte and pour it into a travel mug, tightening the lid just as Claire steps out of her room in a matching pink crop top and short set.
We grab our yoga mats from the shelf under the front hall table and step out into the cool air. The sky is painted in pink and orange, salty sea water consuming the gentle breeze that dances around us. I sip at my coffee while we walk in silence to the beach.
It’s the same walk I make every morning. I love how the beach is so peaceful at this time. On the really quiet mornings, I can almost hear my dad talking to me.
He loved the ocean, and Killara Bay has one of the prettiest beaches I’ve ever seen.
I kick off my flip-flops, take another sip of my coffee and wedge the cup into the sand before I roll out my mat. Claire follows my lead, and then I guide us through twenty minutes of stretching.
As I breathe in deeply, I welcome thoughts of Caleb and all the ways he made me feel when we were together. The hunger he had for my body, the way he would gasp and groan in response to my reactions. The way his eyes would roam over my face with reverence.
I accept our meeting for what it is, grateful I had a chance to feel the beauty of it at all, before I push it away. Reminding myself that what Dylan and I have takes priority in this situation.
Just because I can’t keep the connection I had with Caleb doesn’t mean I can’t have it at all. Even though I’m scared of the hurt that comes with losing people, I need to put myselfout there. What if I’m missing out on something beautiful just because I’m scared of pain? Of once again feeling like I’m not enough if they leave me. Because if they do, it’s because they weren’t right for me, not because I wasn’t right for them.
Yes, this is a good plan. I’ll stop holding myself back in my love life. Even though the first person I wanted to do that with is the one person who’s the mostunavailable.
Once Claire and I finish our workout, we sit on our mats and watch the waves pull in and out. I’ve been honest with my confusing thoughts surrounding Caleb, and I always feel better when I share my feelings with Claire. She lets me get the words out, purging them from my mind. Sometimes she just listens, lending a strong shoulder for me to lean on, and sometimes she gives me advice, putting things in a way I haven’t considered. I’m not sure what she’ll do with this confession, though.
“I slept with my new boss,” I say, not taking my eyes off the shoreline.
“James Huxley?” She gasps and grabs onto my forearm. “Girl, are you making your way through Heart City’s billionaires? Is this an initiation for something? Blink if you’re in trouble.”
I do my best to look unamused by the way her lip hooks up slightly from her playful teasing.
“Caleb owns the company investing in Legacy Malt.” I hug my knees into my chest and rest my chin on top.
