Page 52 of Harbor Lights

She jumped when Shiv touched her shoulder.

“You okay?”

“Yes, sorry. I was just thinking about the potential of this place.”

Shiv leaned over and closed off the faucet, her gaze on Con. “Good to hear. Does that mean you want me to agree it with my granddad?”

Did she? Standing here in this tiny room with Shiv was a physical representation of her dilemma. She constantly yearned to be around Shiv, then once they were together, she was afraid of her feelings. If they worked together on this project, the whole thing would be magnified.

She put her own considerations aside and remembered why they were doing this. The effect it would have on the kids in the local area. Not just the queer kids, but the geeks and other isolated young people. It wasn’t about her needs.

“Yes, yes. Let’s do it!”

She held up her hand for a high five, but Shiv grasped her hips and pulled her close. She had no choice but to wrap her arms around Shiv in return, but the sensation of her hard body against her own softer one caused a wave of desire to emanate from her center and spread through her body. Her cheeks heated.

What’s wrong with me? I’m acting like a teenager, not a menopausal woman.But Shiv fired her up, made her forget society dictated she should be past such things.

She’d been holding Shiv close for too long to avoid awkwardness, so she pulled away with a laugh that sounded hollow to her own ears, her cheeks still burning.

“Phew. Sorry if I’ve overheated the room. I’m having one of my moments.”

She staggered out into the main room and rushed for the door, glad to get back out into the chilly evening. There was a drizzle in the air, the type that felt like nothing, but would quickly soak her. She didn’t care. She needed to breathe.

She sensed more than heard Shiv’s presence behind her.

“Are you okay?”

She turned quickly. “Of course, yes. Just the fucking menopause making my life a misery.”

Shiv’s intense amber stare remained, but her lips twitched. “You’re not selling it to me, this menopause business.”

“Ah, you’ve a while to go yet before you have to think about it.”

“Not that long.” Shiv shoved her hands in her pockets and dropped onto a nearby rock, seemingly oblivious to the soaking cloud enveloping them.

Con flipped up her collar and pulled out a tweed cap from the pocket. Standing around in the rain wasn’t her favorite, but now she could breathe again, she didn’t want their conversation to end. “Menopause? You’re barely out of adolescence from my viewpoint.”

Shiv squinted up at her through the rain. It had begun to flatten her hair. “I turned forty a couple of months ago. It felt like a big milestone.”

“Yeah, those big birthdays can really throw you. I thought fifty was bad enough, but now I’m midway to sixty it doesn’t seem so bad.” She stamped her feet, which dislodged the rain from her cap onto her face.

“Look, I’d love to keep talking but it really is fucking vile out here. Coffee in the Waterside? We can sit in the foyer if the restaurant’s busy.”

“Sure, why not.” Shiv stood and shook the rain from her shaggy hair.

They were quickly in the warm and dry of the foyer of the Waterside. Kasia looked up from the reception desk and put her hand over the mouthpiece of her phone. “Shiv, get some towels from that room there,” she indicated. “And dry yourselves off.” She went back to her call.

Shiv returned with two fluffy white towels. “There’s a drying room. Do you want me to take your coat?” She handed over a towel and slipped the coat from Con’s shoulders. It was a simple, thoughtful gesture, but it took Con by surprise.

“Thank you.” She shook the rain from her cap and placed it on the hat stand, then used the towel to dry her face and wipe her glasses.

Shiv had shrugged off her coat and hung it alongside Con’s in the drying room. She was wearing a thin sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off, and her jeans were dark from the wet. Her skin was covered in goosebumps.

“You should change out of those clothes and get something warm on.” Con wanted to take off the sweater she was wearing, but she knew Shiv would refuse it.

“I’m good.” Shiv rubbed her bare arms. “I’ll soon warm up in here.”

Kasia ended her call and looked up. “Run upstairs to Tierney, Siobhán. She’ll lend you a sweater.”

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