Page 64 of Harbor Lights

She coughed up seawater and maneuvered to where she could see the rope hanging from the front of the boat. The rope the boy had lost grip of earlier. It was only a few strokes away, but moving was getting harder. She was getting heavier and slower. It was kind of a reassuring feeling. She had a fleeting vision of Con dressed in a smart black suit, tears staining her cheeks.

“No. I’m not gonna die here.”

She lunged for the rope, driving her arms through the water and forcing life back into them. She touched slippery strands that slid through her fingers, but she grasped it again, and gripped it until she could pull herself toward the hull of the rowboat. When she had enough slack, she tied a knot around her wrist. It wouldn’t prevent her from drowning, but at least no one would have to risk their lives searching for her body.

Stop that.She feebly kicked her legs, but a cramp tore through her calf that took her breath away. It felt like a knife was ripping through her leg and it wasn’t letting up. Every movement felt as though she was under a weighted blanket with a rock on top of it.

“Boat!” the girl screamed.

Shiv craned her head out of the water. Sure enough, she could hear the sound of an engine over the roar of the wind and the slapping of the waves. She didn’t try to look for it; she didn’t have the energy. She just hoped they were close.

“Shiv!” She recognized the voice, but a name floated around just out of her reach.

There were lots of voices then. People shouting commands, the children shrieking. It sounded like someone else had taken control, so she drifted, wondering if it was okay to get some sleep now.

The sensation of being lifted startled her. Warm air on her legs. She couldn’t feel much else apart from the pain in her calf. Then she was on her back, the gray sky above her. Arms hoisted her to a seated position. “She’s conscious. Shiv, what happened?”

That voice again. Aoife. It was Aoife.

“Kids were on a boat.” It was kind of hard to talk. Her mouth felt sticky and her throat was raw.

“I know. You called it in.” Aoife covered her legs with a blanket and patted them dry. It hurt and Shiv tried to dodge away from it.

“Stay still, we need to get you dry. What I meant was why were you out there?” She placed another blanket around Shiv’s shoulders. “We’ll get you out of these clothes as soon as we get back.”

“Are the kids okay?”

Aoife moved aside and she could see the three young people wrapped in blankets and being attended by the two other lifeboat crew.

A pair of blue waterproof trousers obscured her view, then Joey’s face lowered in front of her.

“What the absolute fuck, Shiv? We could’ve lost you.” Their voice trembled in a way she’d never heard before, but she wasn’t sure if it was fear or anger causing it. Perhaps both.

“Sorry. C-couldn’t wait.” She shuddered.

“I haven’t finished with you, but we need to get you back.” Joey’s face disappeared and Aoife returned with another blanket.

The engines thrummed and she nearly fell back onto the deck when the lifeboat accelerated. Aoife held her shoulders.

“We’ll be back to base in a few minutes, and then we can get you dry and warm.”

Warm sounded good. Shiv pulled the blankets tight, but her body felt like a block of ice.

The rotors of a helicopter sounded overhead, and Aoife moved away to speak to the Coast Guard by radio. Shiv sat up a little higher and looked around. The helicopter was moving away, its rotor sending a sheet of sea spray across the deck. Shiv shielded her face from the worst of it, but chills ran through her body uncontrollably.

Joey piloted the lifeboat around the headland and into the natural harbor. As they passed the lighthouse, the wind dropped immediately and Joey slowed the craft, moving toward the concrete slipway where the cage that transported the lifeboat to dry land was waiting, hitched to a tractor.

Joey’s maneuvering was swift and accurate, and they were soon on dry land. Aoife helped Shiv up and she staggered to the side. Her head swam with the effort, and her legs buckled. Strong arms folded around her, and she was lifted like a child to the ground. She was aware of the indignity, but she didn’t care. Joey held onto her and walked her into the lifeboat station. She wondered what was happening with the kids. They were safe now, and not her responsibility.

“Shiv?”

She knew that voice without a doubt. Why was Con here at the lifeboat station? She was too tired to ask. She didn’t feel cold now, just odd, and a sense of panic gnawed away inside her. Was something bad going to happen that she didn’t know about?

“Shiv? What happened? Is she okay?”

They sounded like questions for someone else, but the relief of knowing Con was close made her knees give way.

Her feet dragged on the ground as more than one set of strong arms lifted her inside.

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