Page 71 of Harbor Lights
Con turned and put a hand on her knee. “Stay right where you are. I’ll do that next.”
“I need a comfort break. Please let me move.”
“Oh. Sorry, yes. Give me a moment and I’ll help.”
Shiv scooted up more actively than she felt. Her right calf still felt like someone had stabbed it with a kitchen knife. “I’ll be two minutes. I’ll call if I need assistance.” She switched on the kettle, then escaped into the hallway.
The temperature outside the room was much cooler and she hobbled to the bathroom as quickly as she could. She checked her reflection while she washed her hands. She was pale, even by her standards, and her lips still had a bluish tinge.Very attractive.
She rubbed her arms and re-entered the main room. Con was at the kettle and nodded toward the couch. “Get back under the covers.”
“Can I have coffee?”
“Nope, too much caffeine.”
Shiv tucked herself back under the blankets and waited for Con to return with the mugs.
“What’s this?” She screwed her face up at the purple concoction. She sniffed it suspiciously. It smelled of healthiness.
“Berry tea. It’ll help you sleep.”
“I don’t think I’ll need much help. But I want to finish my story.”
Con lowered to the opposite end of the couch and sipped her tea. Shiv hoped she’d return. The warmth she got from being wrapped in Con’s arms went way beyond body heat. Apart from her mom when she was little, no one had ever held her that way and made her feel so… safe? Safety wasn’t something she’d ever sought out. But it felt so good.
A cough made her realize she was staring straight at Con, who stared back.
“Sorry, I was miles away. Right, my mom. Now I was growing up and being an ungrateful little asshole, she decided to get a job in a local barber shop, cleaning up and making coffee. Art, the guy who owned it, paid her cash and didn’t ask too many questions. Then he started training her to cut hair. Properly, not like the half-assed jobs I’d been getting all my life. She’d come home and all she’d ever talk about was fucking Art. I hated him for no good reason.”
“You’d had your mom to yourself your whole life. It’s understandable.”
“Well, my mom didn’t understand it. We argued constantly. She was still in her early thirties back then. He was closer to fifty, and I called him a perverted old loser, among other things. When she came home one day full of excitement that he’d asked her to marry him, I lost it completely and accused her of marrying him to get a green card. I refused to go to the wedding, and I stayed in the squat when she moved in with Art.”
Shiv rubbed her face. She had never been proud of the years she’d wasted not speaking to her mom. They’d become close again as she got older and wiser, but now they were separated again. But this time against her will. She wondered what her mom would think of her now, stepping back from her life of activism. Would she be disappointed, or relieved?
“And where is she now?” Con’s expression was open and understanding. Shiv didn’t feel judged.
“Turned out they loved each other very much. They’ll be celebrating their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary this year.” She smiled as she said it. Her mom had deserved her happily-ever-after.
Her eyes felt heavy, and she rubbed them.
“Why don’t you try to get some sleep now, darlin’?” Con reached over and pulled the covers up to her chin.
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to. It’s not as warm without you.” She grinned and got an eye roll in return. Con got up once more and left the room, presumably to use the bathroom.
Shiv stared at the flickering flames. Was it weak to ask Con to hold her? She felt cold and weary, and she’d scared the shit out of herself today. Maybe she just didn’t have the energy to put on a brave face. Or perhaps it was because Con didn’t make her feel weak, or useless. When Con was around, she felt cared for and valued. And wasn’t that the best feeling in the world?
TWENTY-THREE
Con observedShiv as she slept. She’d fallen asleep in her arms, Con watching as the dark eyelashes fluttered closed. She’d felt Shiv’s body completely relax at last. She’d wanted to kiss her then but, of course, she hadn’t. She’d just held her, taking in every detail of her face. Where had all these feelings come from? A tenderness she didn’t remember ever feeling for anyone. Even back in the day with Majella, when she’d been filled with hormones and the excitement of being seen and liked for who she was, she’d never felt this need to utterly devote herself to someone.
That realization and the ache in her joints from lying in a strange position had forced her to move out of Shiv’s proximity and stretch her legs out on the leather recliner opposite. From there, she’d watched over Shiv and kept the fire burning low all night. She’d dozed on and off, but her head was full of cotton wool this morning, and she desperately wanted to try out the shiny coffee machine on the countertop. But it looked noisy, and Shiv had been sleeping for nearly twelve hours. She needed sleep more than Con needed coffee.
She squatted in front of the couch and took Shiv’s pulse. It was back to normal, strong and regular. Relief flooded her. When she ran her fingers over Shiv’s forehead, she stirred. Con pulled back quickly. Had she been checking her temperature, or had that been a caress across Shiv’s uncreased brow?
Fuck. She needed to get a grip on this. She was a medical professional.
She stoked the low fire, moved back to her chair, and watched Shiv slowly awaken. She rubbed her face and looked around blearily, turning to the narrow space where Con had been lying when she dozed off last night.
