Page 81 of Harbor Lights

“This bread is still warm.” Con turned to the counter and picked up the loaf.

“Yeah, I snuck it from the Waterside earlier. Colette was making an early start. Will you butter some more?”

Shiv got the omelet cooked to perfection and dished it up on two plates. Con had sat down with the plate of bread and was chewing a piece.

“Did you see anyone else?”

Shiv placed the food in front of her. “At the Waterside? No, it was real early. Why?”

Con chewed on the omelet as Shiv waited hopefully for a compliment on her improved omelet skills. But Con seemed distracted.

“Is it okay?” Shiv took a bite of her own food, and it tasted good. Perfectly cooked, if she said so herself.

“Hmm? Yes, fine. Thank you.” Con pulled her phone from where it lay across the table and flicked through messages.

Disappointment flooded her. She’d hoped for a cozy breakfast, and then perhaps a trip back to bed before Con had to leave.

“Is everything okay? You’re not regretting last night?” She needed to know what had changed between them.

Con looked up, her eyes guarded. “No, of course not. It was lovely.”

Lovely?“You seem distant.”

Con blinked a couple of times and pulled off her glasses to run a hand over her face. “Last night was very special. But can we keep it to ourselves for now?” The last words came out in a rush.

Shiv couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“What? You enjoyed yourself, but you don’t want anyone to know about us?” Shiv couldn’t help the rise in her tone.

“Oh, God, I knew you’d overreact.” Con replaced her glasses and stood. “I just mean that this place is terrible for gossip. And this…” She waved her hand between them. “Is so new. I just…” She ran her hand through her hair and looked so lost the reasonable part of Shiv wanted to gather her up and reassure her.

But the fire of indignation burning in her chest took over. “You just don’t want people to know you slept with the casual laborer.”

“What?” Con swung to her. “Oh, God, no, Siobhán, that’s not it.” She took Shiv’s hands, but Shiv pulled away.

“That’s what it looks like.” Her nose and eyes were stinging, but she refused to cry in front of Con. Getting angry was easier. “You could’ve just been honest and got this out of the way weeks ago. A little fuck to reassure yourself you still had it in you.”

“What the hell, Siobhán? What about any of this suggests it wasn’t special? I told you I didn’t do casual.”

Con’s tone was carefully measured, but a hint of a tremor lay below it. Good. Shiv was glad this was hard for her, too. Did she honestly believe that Shiv would compliantly go along with being her dirty little secret?

“So, you’re serious as long as it’s hidden? Yeah, that’s a completely normal way to carry on a relationship. Or is it so long since you were in one, you forgot how it works?”

She hated herself for saying those words, but the satisfaction of seeing Con’s face crumple won over. She wanted her to feel as heartbroken as Shiv did.

“It’s barely a relationship; we’ve only spent one night…”

“Exactly. One night of sex. Well, you got what you came for. You can go home, now.”

“I don’t want to leave.” Con stood her ground, her eyes wet now, and her chin trembling.

“Stay, then.” She grabbed her coat. “It’s time I got back up to the cabin, anyway.” She kicked her feet into Tierney’s sneakers, the thought of needing to buy new boots adding to her sense of injustice. She had to get out of here quick before she exploded.

“Shiv, please.”

She didn’t turn, but marched to the door and flung it open. She took the lawn at a jog, driven by the fear of running into any well-meaning cousins.

The tears fell by the time she reached the rocky track up to the cliffs. The uneven ground and blurred vision combined to slow her to a trudge. She let herself wallow in the sense of… what was it? Disappointment? People had been disappointing her all her life. She should know better. Betrayal? She’d known Con was too good for her. She was a doctor, for fuck’s sake. She was never going to get in a serious relationship with someone like Shiv. But as the tears streamed down her face, she knew the real reason it hurt so much. She’d got in deep with Con and now it was over before it had even started, because she wasn’t worth the effort.

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