Page 84 of Harbor Lights

“It’s the loft by the university, right?” Con had stayed there once, and it was hardly a prison cell. It was a three-bedroom spacious apartment with a roof garden, complete with cityscape view.

“Yes, but it’s so empty, and I’m here on my own.”

“Can you call one of your university friends to come over?”

“What and let them see me sitting here, rejected?”

Like you left me to be pitied by my whole community?Con shook off that thought.

“If they’re your true friends, they’ll rally round and support you.”

“But that’s the problem. They’re all Audrey’s friends, too, and she’ll pressure them into taking her side, I’m sure she will.”

Majella sounded pathetic, but Con didn’t know how she could help.

“Do you want to come and stay here for a while?” She didn’t really want that, but she had to offer.

“I can’t leave now. I’ve got student meetings immediately after the new year.”

“Well then, maybe just get some rest, and perhaps you’ll get a chance to talk things through with Audrey.”

“Oh, can’t you come? Just for a couple of days?”

Even by Majella’s standards that was a big ask. “I only just left, Majella. And I also have a job to go back to.”

“But you could get someone to cover, couldn’t you? In an emergency.”

Con was pretty sure her ex-partner’s domestic problems didn’t count as an emergency, but she didn’t have the heart to point that out.

“Please, Connie. You’re my oldest, closest friend. I need you. I’m just sitting here alone among all these boxes, and I can’t cope. Please.”

Con squeezed her eyes shut. She could fly tomorrow evening, spend New Year’s Day helping Majella get settled and then return the following day in time for work.

But she’d arranged to help with the clubhouse and, more importantly, try to fix things with Shiv. But Majella needed her now, and Shiv would still be there when she got back. They could talk then, couldn’t they?

“I’m not promising anything, but I’ll see if I can move a couple of things around here and book flights.”

“Oh, thank you so much, Connie. It’ll be so reassuring to have you here.”

“I’ll speak to you in the morning, Ella. Try and get some sleep.”

She hung up and sat for a few more minutes, wondering at her priorities. She owed Majella nothing, but their bond was deep, and she was needed there.

Shiv didn’t need anyone. Con was just a distraction in her life. She tried not to dwell on their night together, or the thing that had built between them before that. It was an illusion Con had created to fill the loneliness in her life. Like she was ever going to have the happily ever after she craved. She might as well focus her efforts on where she could make a difference.

She shrugged off the uncomfortable feeling and searched for flights on her phone. There was a flight late evening tomorrow. That would give her time to help out at the clubhouse as she’d promised, and to clear the air with Shiv. She needed to be realistic about where their relationship could go.

Then she’d have a day to get Majella back on track before her return to work.

“Ugh.” Not much more than twelve hours ago she’d awoken to a future full of joy and hope. To the belief that she and Shiv could be together. Then she’d panicked at the thought of Shiv telling their friends about their night together. That people might pity her or shake their heads knowingly when it inevitably ended.

Now all she had to look forward to was a heartbreaking conversation with Shiv, and more travel. She’d been happily anticipating their New Year’s Eve together on Inishderry. But now it would be spent putting Majella’s life back together. What about her own life?

She dropped Joey a text promising to talk the following day and dragged herself to bed. It was still early, but this day had been too much hard work already. She’d be better off to see the back of it.

But lying in bed, all she could think of was Shiv’s face when she’d asked her to be discreet about what had happened between them. That wasn’t too much to ask, was it? That she didn’t get humiliated once more?

She drifted off into a restless sleep, with too many things to accomplish the following day, and little enthusiasm for any of them.

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