Page 55 of Derailed
Neither of them speaks, and while the silence should be uncomfortable, it isn’t. It’s a gorgeous morning, and peaceful sitting here with only the occasional bird to serenadeus.
Iz makes it through two cigarettes before he clears his throat. “I’m sorry, brother. For what I said last week. I shouldn’t have put you in thatposition.”
“It’s fine.” Sean waves him off but there’s something in his gaze that’sapprehensive.
Iz lights up another smoke before meeting Sean’s stare. “It’s not. It’s not okay to use friends. I don’t want to be thatman.”
“All is forgiven,brother.”
Iz nods at Sean’s dismissal, but it’s clear whatever happened between the two is bigger than they’re letting on. The silence that grows in the almost manic way Iz inhales his next cigarette suppresses the space between them even thicker than the smoke heexhales.
I don’t know Iz. I barely know Sean. But it’s clear these two need a little help building a bridge. Sitting up straight in my chair, I catch Iz’s stare. “So, Iz, did I hear you’re from Cali? I only moved here a few months ago and I’m still trying to visit all the must-seelocations.”
He nods, his weathered lips pulling wide with a trace of his smile. “Girl, you picked a good place to call home. There’s nothing like this state. A few hours’ drive and you can be anywhere you want. Desert, ocean, forest . . . The only regret I have is not doing more exploring when I had the time to appreciate itproperly.”
I don’t miss how his last words fall with a hopelessness. As if his life is already over. I have no clue what his treatment plan is, but I do know addiction isn’t something you can walk away from. It permeates every aspect of your life, present and future, including those who stick around. I don’t know him well enough to pry into the personal questions though, so I go another way. “What’s your favorite? Of all theplaces.”
Iz leans back into his chair, kicking his legs out on a long exhale of breath. He squints, tilting his face up to the sky, his lips lifting at the edges. “Well, let’s seehere. . .”
Sean straightens in his chair and perks up with interest, his gaze trained on hisfriend.
“Torrey Pines. Back in my twenties I had myself a beautiful girl. We’d go there with a six pack of beer and food she snuck from her parents’ corner store. Maybe it wasn’t the most beautiful place, but the memories . . . Damn, she was a firecracker.” Iz meets my stare and I don’t need a mirror to know my face is stained with myblush.
“Iz . . .” Sean warns with a hint oflaughter.
“Sorry.” He chuckles and nods his head. “Just remembering. God, I haven’t thought about Lou in years. There was this one cliff, right in the center of the park and we’d drive out as far as we could, then hike the rest. On top of the world. On top of the fucking world, that’s how it felt up there with waves crashing down below and the wind whipping our hair. Plus, it made for a good excuse to hold her tight.” He winks and chucklesagain.
“What happened with the girl?” Sean’s question doesn’t chase the smile from Iz’s face but it surprises me. To wonder about Iz’s young love shows he has a romanticside.
“Like all good things in life, I ended it, stupid kid that I was. Lou was quite the looker. Sweet, too. The kind a good man would settle down with, but I was a wild mess, looking for my slice of adventure. But still, she entranced me for a longsummer.”
It’s both a sweet and sadstory.
“You two should go visit Torrey Pines. Make the time before you don’t have anymore.”
“Oh, we aren’t—” I stumble over mywords.
Sean interrupts and gives Iz a hard stare. “How about we take you there? When you bust out of thisjoint.”
“Yeah.” Something flashes across Iz’s gaze. Something I can’t quite name, but looks a lot like melancholy. He stubs out the butt of his cig and pulls out another. “So, what’s going on with the band? You find a replacement for thetour?”
Sean glances at me before meeting his stare. “Yeah, we did. The label hired aguy.”
“You likehim?”
Sean’s jaw works back and forth before he answers smoothly, “He gets the jobdone.”
Iz bursts into laughter and points his cigarette toward me. “You see that? That right there is one of the most polite answers in rock and roll history. This guy doesn’t lie, but he also doesn’t tell thetruth.”
“Iz.” Sean narrows his gaze, but it only causes Iz to laughagain.
“Just giving her a fair warning.” He holds his hands up and shrugs. “Ain’t no harm in that. Unless you don’t want her to have yournumber.”
“I want Jess to have everything.” Sean holds Iz’s stare, but I can’t wonder exactly what he intends.Everything?I don’t deserve to have everything. Is this some dig based on his assumption I’m freeloading off ofCoy?
“That so?” Iz’s brows rise and I kinda hate how they’re having some inside conversation as if I’m not here. I might not know everything, but I can tell when someone’s laughing at myexpense.
“Yeah? That so?” The words sneak out sharper than I intend. “I can ask you anything, anything at all, and you’ll give me a straightanswer?”
