Page 69 of Derailed
His lips pull into a wicked grin I’ve only seen a handful of times, making him appear so much younger. He crawls over my body to one of the nightstands and reaches in a drawer for a foilwrapper.
I take it from him, and by the rise of his brows I think the action surprises him. Sheathing him in the latex, I’m rewarded with a groan that could be classified as caveman. My lips pull up with a smile at the satisfaction of having that kind ofcontrol.
He lies down at my side and claims my lips again. “I want you so much,Jess.”
“Then haveme.”
He turns toward me, runs his hand up the back of my thigh and hikes my leg over his hip. We’re lined up just right, but I snake a hand between us to help guide him inside. In and out, achingly slow, he does all the work with his hips and I hold on. Our bodies press together more and more with eachthrust.
Powerful.Controlled.
Sweet.Sensuous.
This feels a lot like making love. Or what I imagine it tobe.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.” His words catch me off guard. I don’t know how he can say that. Or why it feels as though he meansit.
He rolls me to my back, capturing my hands in his. He presses them to the mattress and kisses my lips, his hips thrusting harder and faster. “I want you to come.” He releases one of my hands and runs his palm over my breasts, down my belly, and to my center. With his thumb he finds my clit.Yes. God, yes. Those brilliant musician’shands.
Sean is patient, as always. And this time my orgasm builds, one ragged breath at a time until it bursts. My body spasms with the rush and I swear I feel it all the way to my toes, curling them as I say hisname.
“I’ve got you.” He kisses my lips, slowing his thumb to lazy circles around my clit as I come down. He hasn’t slowed his pace, though. Sweat gathers on his back from where I dig my fingers into his skin. I want him to come also. I need himto.
“Come inside me,” I murmur on a breath, and that does thetrick.
His features twist with his pleasure and his back muscles tighten to the point I can feel the ridges. “Fuck, Jess.” He remains sheathed inside me, using one hand to hold up the weight of his body while his other brushes a few strands of hair from my face. “That was . . . Fuck, Jess, that was amazing. Thankyou.”
My mouth opens but nothing comes out. His stare holds me immobile and I can’t look away. I want to return the sentiment but can’t seem to push the words from mymouth.
Sean acts as if he doesn’t notice, or maybe he doesn’t, and rolls us back to our sides. “Be right back.” He climbs from the bed and takes a few minutes in thebathroom.
In the time he’s gone reality threatens to crash down upon the nice little bubble we’ve created. My body’s fully sated, but my mind knows there’s more to this than a night of harmless fun. I replay those last minutes with Coy, and the words he used, looking for the confirmation I need to justify sleeping with Sean, but come up empty. We fought. Coy alluded to being done, but we didn’t officially break up. So, is this cheating? Do I even care? The truth is, I wanted to sleep with Sean. If I’m honest, I’ve wanted this for a while. Coy hurt me. He always hurts me. But that doesn’t make thisright.
“Hey.” Sean struts back in the room and tugs on a pair of boxers before reclaiming his spot next to me on the bed. He brushes his hand down my bare arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake before threading our fingers together. He brings my hand to his chest. “What are you thinking about?” His question demands a truthfulness that scares me. No matter what happens next, I don’t want to hurtSean.
“I don’t want to be alone.” Not tonight. Not ever, but I don’t say that.Can’t.
“You won’t be. Not tonight.” Sean’s lips trace along my wrist, our hands still intertwined. “Stay here withme.”
“But what about . . . ?”Coy. My eyes slam shut. I can’t speak hisname.
“He doesn’t deserveyou.”
I nod but I don’t really believe it. Coy comes with a past of his own, and he was good to me far longer than anyone else ever was. Than anyone ever will. Even with Sean, I can’t expect this to last for more than one night. I have his full attention now, but when he’s on tour and surrounded by thousands of adoring fans, will he still feel the same? It’s a chance I can’trisk.
There are all these things I wish I were brave enough to say aloud, but fear traps them inside my head. After tonight I’ll have to figure this out, though. If Coy isn’t already done with me, he will be now. Sleeping with Sean is unforgivable, and yet it’s the only time I can remember that I’ve done something for myself. Not because I had to or because it made someone else feel better, but for me. Even I can’t regret that. And the way he touched me, even the way he holds me now is with a reverence I don’t deserve. As if I’m a precious gift. As if I’m notruined.
“I want to ask you again what you’re thinking, but I don’t want to break this magic spell.” His lips quirk with a grin, but his eyes aresincere.
I like that about Sean. He understands when I can’t deal with the heavy and gives me an out. “It is almost midnight. This bed might turn into a pumpkin; you never know what couldhappen.”
“Exactly. But I’m more worried you’ll disappear.” He winks before capturing my lips in a soft kiss. “Don’t leave. Nottonight.”
“Shouldn’t I be saying that to you?” I attempt to express my fear when it comes tohim.
“Never. There’s nothing you could do to make me leave. You’d have to push meout.”
But he doesn’t know everything. “Sean. . .”
