Page 29 of Dealing Dirty
I suppress my amusement that this big, overly confident man is shaking like a leaf over a little ride at the fair. “It’s alright. Here, let’s take your mind off it.” The metal under our feet hums gently. “What’s your favorite color?”
After several breaths, he says, “Red.”
There’s the barest hint of heat in the word, and I’m not sure why, but I tuck that information deep down in a secret compartment in my brain.
“Okay, what about your favorite food?”
“Enchiladas.”
“That’s not funny,” I tease, luring the tiniest smile from his too pale lips. “You’re only saying that to get on my good side.”
The wheel continues collecting passengers, and each time we jolt forward, he grips my thigh a little tighter.
“Is this helping?” I ask. The press of his fingertips loosens, but he doesn’t remove them.
“Yeah, it is actually. Thank you.” He puffs a nervous laugh.
Have his lashes always been so thick?
I’m too aware of what little space lies between us. I focus on the cluster of freckles he has under the corner of his eye before my gaze leisurely draws an invisible line directly to his lips.
“Why would any sane person willingly get on this deathtrap?” he asks.
From up this high, we can see miles of Mackville farmland stretch to touch the distant horizon. The far-off hills are littered with trees that have kept their green leaves, and cows and horses become tiny specs that munch their way through the dried grass. I watch the little world I know begin to disappear as the wheel makes its first turn.
“I used to visit this fair with my family when I was a young girl. Seeing the town from so high up made me feel invincible.” I tuck my hands in my lap, rubbing them between my thighs to heat them. “My sister and I would pretend we were queens, watching our loyal subjects far below.”
My heart patters when Derrick pulls my hands from my lap and cradles them in his.
His breath is warm against my frozen fingers when he brings them to his mouth and exhales. “As you know from the mud incident, my sister and I were always playing pretend.” He leans in close. “She may have made me be a queen once, too.”
The twinkle in his eye brings laughter to my lips.
“You and your sister must have been very close,” he says.
I gently pull my hands away. “We were once, but she’s since moved, as have the rest of my brothers. Diego, the oldest, went to California, and Manuel followed him not too long after. Adrián is the youngest brother but older than me by nine years. He lives in Austin, so he’s close, but if you asked my parents, they’d say not close enough.”
“Wow. I’m surprised to hear that.”
I wave a hand. “It’s a long story.”
The muscles in his shoulders finally begin to relax. Leaning back against the car, his arms spread out behind his head. “Now that you’ve confined me to this rotating metal prison, I’ve got nothing but time,mamacita.”
He jumps when we sway a little, and I snicker at his wide eyes.
“My parents were poor, but we never lacked for love. As long as I live, I’ll never understand the sacrifices they made for all of us. But they were raised to rear a family and provide for that family until death.” I motion between the two of us. “We don’t have that same mentality, you know? They couldn’t understand why my eldest brothers wanted to move off and they refused to be supportive. Ultimately, it ended up driving a wedge between the family.
“I haven’t seen my sister in years, and my brothers, even longer than that. We catch up on the phone occasionally, but Adrián is the only one who visits—and even he comes only twice a year. I’m actually supposed to have dinner with him and my mom this evening.”
He grows serious, studying me with curious eyes.
“And what about you, Juliana?” The question slithers around me, squeezing my throat like a viper. “Did you stay for your parents?”
This is too personal, yet I find myself giving him the God’s honest truth. “I didn’t want to be the one who failed them.”
My siblings left me here to care for our parents while they fulfilled their dreams, but they never stopped to think about me. Did what I want for my life matter so little?
“It’s odd because I’m bitter they forgot about us, but at the same time, I have this hole in my heart, you know?”
