Page 30 of Dealing Dirty
He nods. “Sasha and I have been thick as thieves our whole lives. I wanted nothing more than to be supportive when she moved out of town, but I’ll admit, it hurt. Almost like I was missing a limb.”
Suddenly, those soft brown eyes are the only thing I can focus on. The wheel spins in a steady rhythm and strands of my hair flit around my face, tickling my nose. It’s his turn to tuck the strands behind my ear and smooth my temple.
I’m reminded of the last time we were so close. Before, we were intoxicated and the alcohol was guiding our conversation, then our kissing, followed by our bodies. We were all too willing to take what we needed from each other.
Now, we sit in contented conversation, and we’ve done nothing but give. The comfort he openly provides softens my heart, even as I urge it to turn away.
“Do you want to know what I thought the first time I saw you?”
No,my thoughts whisper while I nod.
“I thought what an idiot Jack was for choosing the wrong girl.” His thumb traces an almost indiscernible line across my jaw and over my chin. My lips part on a gasp, encouraging the gift of his sweet words. “I couldn’t take my eyes off that tight pink dress you wore. But then you smiled.”
“Derrick…”
“I haven’t looked at another woman the same ever since.”
My God.This man is going to be my undoing.
“I would never let anything happen to you, Juliana. Don’t you know that?” He and the rest of the guys aren’t stupid. They see my shifting eyes and hunched posture. They know my fears for what’s to come.
“Of course I know that.” And I do. No matter what eventually shakes down with Bruce, these guys have made it clear that they’re going to protect me and Cassidy at all costs.
“You just don’t get it, Derrick. My mom chose that life and look what it got her. She’s stuck in Mackville, her kids have moved on and hardly speak to her, and shelivesto serve her husband. I’m not the kind of girl who shacks up, and the guys I’ve slept with get that.” I wince, regretting the words as soon as they slip past my lips.
A shadow creeps over his face, but he doesn’t pull away. “Are there… any guys for you right now?”
“Chingao,” I swear, pressing the heel of my hand between my brows. The Ferris wheel comes to a stop, intermittently letting passengers off.
“It’s an honest question.”
I scoff when he raises his shoulders. “There’s nothing honest about that question, and you know it. Besides, it’s hardly any of your business.”
He blinks, waiting.
I cross my arms. “It’s been a rough few months, okay? Don’t you dare laugh!” I shove him and the car rocks gently. “That’s just not me. I’m not going to be poppin’ out babies or hoppin’ on the marriage train anytime soon. You can take out your own trash, and do your own damn dishes.”
His stony expression slowly cracks as a gentle breeze flits between us.
“A relationship with me is off the table,comprendes?”
He taps his chin thoughtfully. “Okay. But what about an agreement?”
“An agreement?” I parrot.
“You said you’ve had partners before that you’ve had an understanding with. What ifwehad a similar understanding?”
My head bobs forward. “You can’t be serious.”
Yes!The lioness that is my libido screams as heat instantly scours my body.
No, no, no. This is a terrible idea. The last thing I need to be doing is getting tangled in Derrick’s sheets.
“Finally,” I mutter. As soon as the car stops to let us off, I jump up, getting out of there before my mouth says something my brain doesn’t have a chance to stop.
“Juliana!” he calls after me.
I fumble for the jean loop that’s holding my keys, practically sprinting toward my car.
