Page 65 of Dealing Dirty
She nudges me and I retort, “Nauseating and uneventful?”
We share a laugh. “No, wild and exciting! But also, scary and nerve-racking. You gotta let yourself be vulnerable. When you’re in a car, there’s safety in the frame and cushion of your seat. But when you’re on a bike, you’re completely exposed.”
I’m none of those things, especially not during sex.
She wants me to be vulnerable and exposed?Never.
“You have to reteach your brain when you’re driving a motorcycle. Learning to let go of control is difficult at first, but if you try too hard to control it, you’ll wreck. Gotta trust the bike, trust the ride, and then the rest comes easy.” She winks, strutting past me to open the door.
Feeling unsettled, I step inside the dark, smoky entrance of Lucky’s.
Just like most bars, pool tables and dartboards take up one corner, and across the room in the other corner, a man sings a slow song from a barstool center stage.
I recognize his dark hair and timeless style immediately.
Sad, melodic words and long, lonely chords reverberate around the bar. When he opens his eyes, they lock on mine as his lips brush the microphone like a tender lover.
Ethan.
Boy, I plan to give him an earful about that friend of his when he finishes his set.
I’m still shaken by the aggressive way Alfonzo approached me. The ghostly touch of his slick palm against my bare leg feels all too real. Heart pounding, I quickly scan the room to see if he’s slinking around any dark corners.
“I’m gonna get us some shots and a pitcher,” Hazel says. “Grab us a table.”
My feet begin moving toward a table beneath a string of colorful lights, but my mind is absent. Despite the thrill of the open road and Hazel’s companionship, I’m left hollow by my interaction with Derrick.
What happened to respecting boundaries and building trust? After last night, my lonesome heart was close to convincing me we could do this, but now… it’s too messy. How can I trust him to keep his cool around other guys who may hit on me? I work in a bar for goodness’ sake, it’s bound to happen.
“You okay?” Hazel asks, plopping down into the chair beside me.
I snag the shot of tequila she slides my way. My tongue snakes out to lap up the salt that slides down the glass before shooting it back.
“Well, that’ll certainly help,” I say after biting the sour lime that was wedged over the rim.
“Damn, woman, you’re impressive.” She tilts her head back, slurping hers with less finesse. Hazel smacks the table repeatedly as her pretty face scrunches up.
“Oh, come on. Don’t be such a baby,” I say.
She swipes her wrist across her lower lip. “I’ll admit, I only did that so you’d think I was cool. But that’s fucking gross, Jules.”
“Hazel, you have a freaking motorcycle.” I hook my thumb behind me toward the door. “You’re the coolest chick I know!”
Swatting a hand through the air, she brushes me off and leans back in her chair. Never in a million years did I imagine befriending this woman. Her wild brown hair fans over her shoulders while those bright yellow-and-gray eyes watching every movement in the room.
“Who taught you how to do that?” I ask.
“Do what?”
My hand flicks out, gesturing to her face. “That look in your eye. Almost like you already have every person in here memorized.”
The leather pants she wears creak when she sets her elbows on the table. “I was nearly molested when I was seven years old.”
The hand I had tucking back a lock of hair freezes over my ear before lowering to the table.
“The Vice Prez of the club at the time wasn’t just my dad’s partner, he was his best friend. He used to take me out for ice cream and buy me all kinds of presents. You know, stuff my parents—who were miserable in their marriage—couldn’t afford. He was my only friend for a long time, and I always felt this closeness to him.” She diverts her gaze. “One day, while he was watching me at our house, everything changed. I guess he decided that was the day he wanted to act on his twisted desires.
“He pinned me against the refrigerator and his hands were suddenly everywhere. I was so scared and confused. I’m not sure what angels were watching over me, but my dad walked in just before he got any further. Didn’t even question the guy, just pulled his gun and shot him in the head.”
