Page 101 of Waging War
Hazel’s warmth is gone, and I feel a hot tear track down my temple when Jack’s broken voice melds with her cries.
Jack. Hazel. Don’t go.
“Wait… please,” I beg, but no one can hear me.
All the things I’ve been too afraid to say surround me as I’m dragged away.
I need to tell Jack how much I love him and how sorry I am to not get the chance to watch his baby grow up. I have to tell him I should have been a better big brother, and that my biggest regret is not being able to save us when we needed saving.
And Hazel… I want to tell her how painfully beautiful she is when she cries and that I love the sexy way she outsmarts me. I want people to see her for more than just a pretty face because she’s funny, and sarcastic too. Stubborn as hell, but only because she believes in what she’s fighting for, and she won’t stop until she knows she’s done the right thing.
Like gifting me a root from the depths of her heart when she knew damn well I didn’t deserve one.
I fought it once it planted.
I fought it when it grew, and again when it bloomed.
But despite every storm that bruised and beaten bud has weathered, it blossomed.
I’m forced to close my eyes, lost in a strange euphoria.
Mostly, I wish that I could tell her what I should have told her on the golf course tonight.
That…I love her.
One last vision of her smile slides through my mind before it goes blissfully silent.
CHAPTERTWENTY-FIVE
Hazel
Cassidy grabs my hand as we watch them lower the casket into the deep, dark earth. I used to shy away from any form of touch or comfort, but the life I once knew has changed.
I’vechanged.
Now I seek her comfort the same way I seek Juliana’s, who wraps her arm around my shoulder, squeezing me tight. Sasha takes the podium for her turn to speak. Her speech is no doubt profound and beautiful, but not a single part registers in my brain.
It’s been one week since his death, and still, it consumes me. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t jolted awake to the sound of that gun firing and his body falling while I saw the life slowly creep from his eyes.
I thought I’d be filled with more rage—moreanything—but I mostly feel hollow.
My pack surrounded me after his body was taken away, but their faces and reassuring words remain a hazy blur. Everything we’d all been through has been riding on that single moment, and I’ll never forget it as long as I’m living.
Sasha wipes a tear from her eye and steps toward a small crowd circling someone, but I’m interrupted before I get the chance to see who’s at the center.
“Hey, Haze.” Coop gingerly steps around Cass and Jules. “Ladies, can I have a moment?”
Cassidy pats her growing belly. “Yeah, I really should go sit down. My ankles are swelling like crazy.”
Juliana grabs my hand. Her chocolate brown hair waves lightly in front of her face, partially covering her pinched expression. “We’ll see you later, Hazel?”
“Yeah.” I nod. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”
Sliding her eyes toward Coop and back to me, she gives me a tight smile before she walks off after Cass.
“You’ve done a good thing here, Hazel. This is a kindness they won’t forget.”
The crowd around Sasha finally parts, revealing Mrs. Barron and her two young daughters. Their tear-streaked faces wrench my stomach all over again.
